XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX TUE JAN 13, 2003 17:09:32 ET XXXXX RAW RAGE AT BUSH DURING MOVEON.ORG AWARDS; TRANSCRIPT REVEALED **Exclusive** The stars were out in Gotham on Monday night for the latest Bush Bashing Ball. Followers of MOVEON.ORG gathered to unveil the winner of the website's Bush in 30 Seconds Contest. But it was the action off the computer screen and on the stage at New York's Hammerstein Ballroom that's caused excitement. Celebrity activists unleashed a raw torrent of insults and allegations against Republicans and the Bush Administration. MARGARET CHO (Comedian) -- * "Despite all of this stupid bullsh-- that the Republican National Committee, or whatever the f--- they call them, that they were saying that they're all angry about how two of these ads were comparing Bush to Hitler? I mean, out of thousands of submissions, they find two. They're like fu--ing looking for Hitler in a hawstack. You now? I mean, George Bush is not Hitler. He would be if he fu--ing applied himself." big, extended applause) "I mean he just isn't." * "I think this last year has just proven how stupid Republicans are." (big applause -- leads into next bullet) * "For example, Judge Roy Moore, or Jay Moore or whatever, in Alabama. [inaudible] ... Ten Commandments statue stay in the lobby of a courthouse. 'You can't move the Word of God! You cannot remove the Franklin Mint edition of the Word of God!' [said in Southern accent] People are protesting there and like, I think it could have been solved so much easier if they had just placed a golden calf next to the statue and then people would have started worshipping that. And then they could have moved the Ten Commandments to Bush's office -- which he needs them, desperately. Or maybe he needs a new version of the Ten Commandments -- George W. Bush's Ten Commandments: Thou shalt not steal...votes. (big applause) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's...country. (big applause) Thou shalt not kill...for oil. (big applause) Thou shalt not take grammar...in vain. (big applause) I mean, whatever fu--ing happened to separation of church and state? I mean, you can't like, impose your god on my god. God has many names. God is God, God is Jehovah, God is Allah, God is Buddah, God is Beyonce. (laughter) You know, you cannot impose your God on other people. And ah, George W. Bush is coming out with the weirdest stance on same-sex marriage as well. What he says about it is, well, 'well, we're all sinners.' No we're not! Just because somebody ate an apple one time does not make us all sinners. And if it was from the tree of knowledge, I think she should have eaten more than one. (laughter) Possibly even baked a pie." (applause) "I don't understand the whole same-sex marriage thing. He was quoted by saying, 'well, you you uh, just gotta take the speck out of your own eye before you take the co-- out of your neighbor's.'" [in Southern accent] (laughter) * "I mean, I'm afraid of terrorists, but I'm more afraid of the Patriot Act." (big applause) CHUCK D (Rapper -- Public Enemy) * Cut off, but he appears to refer to American government under Bush Administration as "cancer of civilization." * "But truly, seriously, quite frankly, the people are smart enough to realize that the world is important and we only have one life [or right, unclear], that's tired of this bullsh--, or better than that, tired of this Bushsh--" (big applause) * "Americanization is like McDonaldization" * "Son of a Bush and his crew is at it again, because, we do not want 8 years run by a Colon, a Bush and a Dick." (big applause) JULIA STILES (Actress) * "I was worried that some soldiers over in Iraq who are actually younger than I am would see some salacious report on MSNBC and think that I was attacking them and not the government that put them there. And I was afraid that Bill O'Reilly would come and, with a shotgun at my front door and shoot me for being unpatriotic. But I decided that that's actually, that fear that was silencing me is actually why it's so important that MoveOn exist and do this ad contest..." AL FRANKEN *"I'm Al Franken. I'm here to present the funniest ad award. I'm a last-minute substitution, former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill was supposed to be the presenter, but unfortunately he was murdered." MOBY *Said he had "contempt" for Bush, called him a "big fat f---ing liar."
Ha, ha. Al's jokes are real knee-slappers, aren't they?