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Linda Carter is completely unrelated to Free Republic. But if I am going to have to post donation begs until the Freepathon is over, I'm going to occasionally post something I want! And there is only one way you can stop me! |
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Posted on 01/07/2004 9:40:15 PM PST by Luke Skyfreeper
MILLION MOM MARCH ADMITS 'WE ARE LOSING BATTLE AGAINST DANGEROUSHIDDENGUNS'
January 7, 2004, Washington, D.C. - Sarah Brady of the Brady Campaign United With the Million Mom March today issued the following statement:
"Today, the Governor of Ohio proved that he is a complete, absolute idiot and an obvious gun-toting right-wing fanatic wacko by caving in to pressurefromthedangerousgunlobby and agreeing to sign Ohio's dangeroushiddenguns bill into law."
"In spite of the fact that more than half of all Americans live quite happily in States that have shall-issue concealed carry laws, and in spite of the fact that the balance of research from university professors and professional researchers suggests these laws actually prevent crime and save lives, we here at the Brady Campaign know far, far better."
"We have our own research, independently commissioned by our generous financial supporters and independently undertaken by certain individuals in our Public Relations Department, that proves beyond any doubt whatsoever that in every state where one of these laws is passed, an average of 192 children* keel over and die on the very first day, just from the shock alone. And that's even before the law takes effect."
"Furthermore, these dangeroushiddenguns in the hands of law-abiding citizens just continue to menace the entire population. They don't know it, they don't feel it, they don't see it, they don't believe it, but they are being menaced all the time. Menace, menace, menace."
"Unfortunately, I'm not able to give you the actual names of our researchers, but I can assure you that one of them graduated from a highly respectable Community College, and the other actually earned a Bachelor's Degree in Drama -- plus a Minor in Feminist Studies."
"Anyway, these laws unfortunately deprive citizens of their Constitutional right to know if anyone near them or their children is carrying a loaded gun."
"Of course, if the person happens to be a criminal, he's probably carrying a loaded gun already without their knowledge, and he's certainly not going to advertise the fact, is he? But that's not the point, dammit. We must all be assured that the nurse or waitress walking alone through the parking lot late at night is not carrying a lethal weapon."
"Any other position is dangerous right-wing extremism."
"We are also quite disappointed that the jokers in the New Mexico Supreme Court let stand that state's dangeroushiddenguns law. I just don't know WHAT these guys were thinking. I mean, it's perfectly obvious that if a State Constitution says that the right to keep and bear arms doesn't automatically mean that people can carry concealed weapons, what it REALLY means is that it is completely Unconstitutional for the legislature ever, ever to pass any such law granting the citizens of that state permission to do so."
"Idiots."
"Now, just about anybody in New Mexico will be able to just easily carry a dangerousweapon. All they have to do is pay a substantial sum of money to be trained in how to properly handle a weapon and the proper use of force against criminals, pass some tests, undergo a criminal background check, and pay more money to get a license to carry a dangerousweapon."
"We confidently predict blood in the streets."
"Unfortunately, we at the Brady Campaign are now forced to concede that we are, in fact, losing this battle. With the number of states having these 'shall issue' laws going from just 8 back in 1986 up to a horrendous 35 today, and the number of states where it's completely illegal under all circumstances for a regular law-abiding citizen to carry dangeroushiddenguns going from a happy 21 in 1986 down to just 4 today, it's obvious that the people, the legislators, and the governors in all of these states are just plain stupid. We've tried to rescue them from themselves, but somehow in spite of our convincing arguments, they've been deceived by others (like those university researchers with their fancy-smancy PhD's) and have inevitably caved in to pressurefromthepowerfulgunlobby... Boy, those gunlobby folks sure do have the clout."
"And of these 4 remaining safe havens of plain and obvious good common sense, there is now a movement in 3 of those -- Wisconsin, Kansas and Nebraska -- for these States to pass dangeroushiddengun laws of their own. Only one state stands firm with us. But we here at the Million Mom March are convinced that, in spite of the fact that things look bad now, eventually the entire nation will turn around and emulate the shining example of that last bastion of common sense, that beacon of hope shining on the top of the hill -- the State of Illinois."
"OK. Yes, I know, I know you've heard the recent news, that Chicago has reclaimed its title as Murder Capital of the United States. But that's only because Chicago happens to be in a bad area. Believe me, it'd be far, far worse if they didn't have such sensible gun laws there, to keep dangeroushiddenguns out of the hands of Chicago's citizens."
"Anyway, all those people in the other States, the ones that have concealed carry laws and lower murder rates, they really aren't as safe as they think, because they've got all these guns running around all over the place. I mean, in spite of the lower violent crime rates and everything, it's obvious that they are actually in more danger than Chicagoans, where the murder rate is much higher but the people are safer overall."
"And so, in spite of the fact that this looks like Custer's Last Stand, we vow that we will continue to fight. The battleground now is Missouri -- and Ohio if we can figure out some way we can sue those people."
"Of course, in light of the fact that the challenge to Missouri's law is pretty much identical to the New Mexico challenge, and New Mexico's Supreme Court took only 30 minutes to find that those who filed suit to block this law were completely cracked, I will have to admit our prospects do not look very good."
"But be assured that in spite of our emotional state of being deeply saddened that 192 children* dropped dead today in New Mexico, we will use every ounce of our influence, connections, media mouthpieces, money, arm-twisting lobbying power and anything else we can think of to forcefully coerce those Missouri Supreme Court Justices to be brave, and not to cave in to pressurefromthegunlobby."
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* For the purposes of this article, "children" includes individuals aged 39 and under.
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Linda Carter is completely unrelated to Free Republic. But if I am going to have to post donation begs until the Freepathon is over, I'm going to occasionally post something I want! And there is only one way you can stop me! |
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No, no. Dangeroushiddenguns. It's just one word.
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