[Travis McGee]

Shhh! We captured him all right, but in secret, so that we can torture the information out of him, before burying him in a pigskin with his butt to mecca.

[BOBTHENAILER]

Great idea. Here's a torture that'll work fer sure:

People magazine was on hand to cover the event and wanted to interview the troops for reaction to Clinton's visit.

"But they were getting declined left and right," our source said. "People were actually telling the reporters, 'You don't want to print what I think about her and her visit.'"