Even Whitney had bad White House manners

U.S. News- Washington Whispers ^ | 11/10/03 | Paul Bedard

[Pokey78]

Proper American manners by those invited to the White House have deteriorated so much that it's time to break one of etiquette's rock-hard rules: covering up the faux pas of social misfits. The year was 1994 and Bill Clinton was hosting his third state dinner, this time for South African President Nelson Mandela. There was the regular receiving line, drinks, then the dinner seating. But two guests were AWOL--Whitney Houston, the night's entertainment, and hubby Bobby Brown. Arriving late, the diva didn't like what she saw. Following protocol, Brown was seated at a different table from his wife. Houston threatened to leave, forcing East Wing aides to boot a guest from the voice's table. "It was deplorable," says our Clinton insider. Well, it's gotten worse: Some Bush guests don't even R.S.V.P. on time or write thank you notes. Kennedy social secretary and etiquette author Letitia Baldrige says, "When guests don't even answer the White House, it's really pulverizing to me." Her answer: Read some books--like her latest--and teach kids. "Manners really are good character."

[buffyt]

I don't understand. I would expect to sit with my husband, too. Is that so bad? I don't enjoy anything as much if he isn't there.

[John Beresford Tipton]

Maybe Bobby was holding her stash?

[Miss Marple]

In a formal dinner party, one is not seated with one's spouse. The idea is to encourage conversation. One is also expected to converse with the people seated on either side, and not to devote one's attention only to one person. It is also not considered proper (although I think this rule has been somewhet relaxed) to converse ACROSS the table to people seated on the other side.

At informal gatherings the rules are different, but a White House dinner party follows the old rules of etiquette and protocol.

And it is NEVER good manners to throw a hissy fit if you don't like the seating arrangement.

Also, it is considered a breach of etiquette not to answer an RSVP, which means a response is requested, NOT "regrets only."

[Cicero]

This was not the greatest of evils attributable to the clinton regime--nor the Bush administration. This whole story strikes me as a non-starter. People don't write thank-you notes anymore. In the age of the cell phone and the internet, most people never write any letters at all.

These days, when we get a bread & butter note from a recent house guest, we consider it cause for celebration.

[chicagolady]

I recently saw a show of Whitney Houston, She is a real Looney tune!
She actually seemed out of her mind. She was really acting nuts. I was wonder is it from the drug residue? Fried Brains?

[ClearCase_guy]

Imagine, an act of rudeness occurred in the White House during the Clinton administration! A crass, boorish breach of etiquette, by some trashy loser who had no concept of proper behavior. Some piece of garbage who ran late and kept others waiting, and then made a scene when they finally bothered to show up. But enough about Bill ...

[Pokey78]

Whitney's act is not as bad as the 3some in the White House bathroom during an outdoor party.

[WackyKat]

In high society, the custom is that married couples are not seated together on the assumption that they can talk all they wish in private, and the dinner gives them the opportunity to meet new people and discuss fresh topics.
It also prevents the marrieds from rehashing old disagreements and thus boring the other guests.
The custom has always seemed like a good idea to me.

[Iowa Granny]

People don't write thank-you notes anymore.

But don't you think the point is: It IS proper protocol to respond to an invitation and to write a thank you note? Just because many people have quit doing it doesn't necessarily make it right.

[buffyt]

I LIVE in high society. I have been to fancy dinners where they insist that close friends do not sit close together, but spouses still sit at the same table. I live in the fanciest, richest neighborhood in this area. Used to live in San Marino, Calif. where you can't get a small house for under two million. We sit at same table as our spouse. Maybe not next to him, but at same table. Went to football game with society types today. It was in a luxury suite at the Houston Reliant Stadium. It was three thousand bucks just for the food, I saw the bill when the host signed for it. I am not living in white trashdom.

[buffyt]

One of my neighbors makes $121K a month.

[txhurl]

Virgo bump.

[GreatOne]

She may be a loon, but she has one of the most heavenly voices. Darn shame. I always wonder - did Brown make her good go bad, or was she a dipstick to begin with.

[Senator Pardek]

I am not living in white trashdom.

No one is saying that (I'm not sure if I like that term "white trashdom" ;)

This is D.C., where the protocols of a different age take precedence - think Senators, ambassadors, heads of state, etc...

These folks take this stuff quite seriously. I personally think it's childish.

My rules demand that I give a big tip to the pregnant unmarried waitress at the local diner - hope I can climb up the social ladder to meet you ;)

[chicagolady]

He may have drove her crazy....but he didn't have far to drive!

[Iowa Granny]

There is a vast difference between protocol in Washington DC and in California. California is known for a more relaxed way of doing things. For example, clothing. Styles are much more relaxed in California. That certainly doesn't make it any less acceptable for that part of the country. Simply different.

[firebrand]

A friend of mine was invited to the Gores' because she helped work on Tipper's book. She didn't think she wanted to go. I MADE her go. We are both conservatives, but you don't refuse an invitation from the vice president. Much less not even RSVP!

[firebrand]

Re hanging out with your own spouse: Funny scene in Tom Wolfe's Bonfire of the Vanities, where a couple goes to a cocktail party and fears the social fate worse than death: to be caught talking to your own spouse.

[Conservababe]

I LIVE in high society. I have been to fancy dinners where they insist that close friends do not sit close together, but spouses still sit at the same table. I live in the fanciest, richest neighborhood in this area. Used to live in San Marino, Calif. where you can't get a small house for under two million. We sit at same table as our spouse. Maybe not next to him, but at same table. Went to football game with society types today. It was in a luxury suite at the Houston Reliant Stadium. It was three thousand bucks just for the food, I saw the bill when the host signed for it. I am not living in white trashdom.

Well, I guess your post is proof that one can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.