Stark Trek - Only Slightly Warped Star Trek Humor (Break from the war Hold Mein Phaser Alert!)

Stark Trek ^ | 3-28-2003 | sonofatpatcher2

[sonofatpatcher2]

Stark Trek

Only Slightly Warped Star Trek Humor

Kirk, a Ferengi and three French sailors go into a bar...

[sonofatpatcher2]

Here is a sample of Stark Trek for a short break from the war news:

* * * * *

You know, with these pecs of mine,

you'd think I'd get more action.

* * * * *

Tonight on Stark Trek Bandstand,
let's rock with old Bones McCoy's singing
The Gerber Brothers' Number One Hit:

"My Baby's Dead."

* * * * *

Yes, Doctor, it is Tholian porn.

Yet that is better than no porn at all.

* * * * *

Okay, if this tickles your funny bone, post some Star Trek humor of your own or go to Stark Trek for a laugh or two.

Then come back recharged for more discussin' and cussin' about the war!

What?

Oh, the "Kirk, a Ferengi and three French sailors go into a bar" joke?

Well, you finish it!

[xJones]

"The web site you are trying to access has exceeded its allocated data transfer."

I think the response may have crashed their site. Yahoo sites are delicate.:)

[sonofatpatcher2]

"Bones, what is your slant on Geocities crashing at the drop of a hat?"
"They're dead, Jim."

[NCC-1701]

As a Trekkie,(or Trekker), I loved this post. It's great to see some humor directed at the crew of the Enterprise.

NCC-1701

[sonofatpatcher2]

"Bones, them beans are just about dead."
"And they sure will be, Jim Boy, after we run 'em through Spock."

[xJones]

Move over on the bench for another Trekkie lover! And yes, we certainly could use some laughs right now.

click.

[xJones]

Here's this: click.

[sonofatpatcher2]

"Damnit, Spock!"
"You could have told me we were out of toilet paper before I squatted down beside you!"

"Vulcans do not use toilet paper."

"Well, what in blue blazes do you use?"

"The Vulcan Rectum Pinch."

"The Vulcan Rectum Pinch?"

"Yes, Doctor, it is logical- And quiet fascinating."

"Just wait until I feed you some bourbon and beans. The we'll see how that Vulcan Rectum Pinch works then!"

[happygrl]

I followed your link.

This is rich.

I'm bookmarking this thread.

[sonofatpatcher2]

"I'm dead, Jim."
"But before I go to that Great Mint Julep Bar in the Sky, I'm a going down to Hell and beat the livin' crap out of that ragheaded son-of-a-bastard-sheep till his skin won't hold shucks!"

[sonofatpatcher2]

"Hey, Jim, do you know why protesters always carry a bucket of week-old bear manure to ever anti-war rally?"
"No, Bones, why do they?"

"It keeps the flies off the reporters from CNN, NBC, CBS and MSNBC!"

[happygrl]

He's not-quite-dead, Jim......

[sonofatpatcher2]

Re: He's not-quite-dead, Jim......

He will be, Happy darling,
when Spock & I catch up with him!"

"I'm with Bones, Happy."
"Nothing warms you at night like a good piece of Thompson steel!"

Truth Time: Me and my Tommy circa 1971

[kAcknor]

kAcknor Sez:

No, nothing really to say here.. Just felt the compulsion to post.   ;)

"tIqIpqu' 'ej nom tIqIp" (Hit them hard and hit them fast.)

Have you checked the *bang_list today?

[happygrl]

Oooo! Men with steel !

[sonofatpatcher2]

Re: Oooo! Men with steel !

"Say, does a wascally wabbit hunting shotgun count?"

"NO, it doesn't, maggot!"
"This is a Star Trek thread, you gravel-mouthed peckerwood. Get off it right now! Do you hear me?????"

"Now, Miss Happy, I've got steel, too."

"Excuse me, R. Lee?"
"As you said, this is a Star Trek thread. And this is the cartoon segment, so you best run along. Live long and prosper!"

"Now, Happy, you were speaking of men with steel?"

[happygrl]

The calibre of the steel has degraded quickly on this thread.

I'd better go before I get hit with a musket ball.

[sonofatpatcher2]

"Hey, Jim Boy?"
"Do you know how Saddam likes his leg of lamb?"

"No, Bones, how does Saddam like his leg of lamb?"

"One each around his ears!"

Bada Bing!

[sonofatpatcher2]

"Nice ball."
"Could I give this to Happy?"

"Don't leave, Happy. I'll behave- I'll try to."

[sonofatpatcher2]

"No, this is not pon farr."
"It is pon flush. Every seven years Vulcan must clean their toilets."