It’s very good Laz. I usually find fiction annoying but this story drew me in. I can already see it as a movie in my mind. I’m also imagining this as a sort of end times story, involving AI, the antichrist and things like that.
The comments about the cursing I agree. Is it even necessary? And if it is, use very sparingly and not right up front. For future consideration, if there’s going to be cringy gratuitous sex scenes I’ll skip a story altogether. I get that there’s natural, subtle sexual tension in the world but I hate that voyeuristic feeling.
You have an enormous talent for writing. It’s nice to see you using it. You are going to be very successful with this project!
You’ll see alterations in the cursing in the second draft, which will be posted here in the next 72 hours. There are also many other suggestions that I am incorporating.
Aside from that, your review is very appreciated! It is breathtaking the extent to which comments like yours, motivates me. Thank you!
Spoiler Alert: It is not.
It is, however, the topic of my second book.... should the first one be successful.