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Reviews of Dunder Mifflin Paper Co. (on Yelp)
2/15/2024 | Who knows?

Posted on 02/15/2024 3:15:18 AM PST by Lazamataz

I've recently stumbled upon a set of Yelp reviews for the Dunder Mifflin Paper Co. that was featured in the PBS documentary, The Office. I thought they were interesting. Here is a sample:

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I'm a small client of Dunder Mifflin. We send out newsletters to patriots and revolutionaries all over the world. Our intention is to violently overthrow the left wing globalist governments everywhere.

I exclusively work through Dwight Shrute. He and I have had many conversations about our group's cause, and he has pledged to join us when the balloon goes up. Dwight is a standup guy. I once was accidentally transferred to this IDIOT named Jim, and when I explained our mission and our need for paper, he paused and didn't IMMEDIATELY pledge his loyalty to our Godly Mission to take over the entire globe and LIQUIDATE all the USELESS PEOPLE who infest our ROADS and *OUR* *COUNTRY*. What a WEAKLING Jim is. ***IDIOT*** I WANT HIM TO BE ONE OF THE FIRST POEOPLE WE EL IMIn+ATE!!11 I *HHATE** JIM!!11! AUUGGHHHH!!@@

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Sales staff was great, paper was paper. We have used them for years, but we recently received paper that had an offensive watermark, depicting a "beloved cartoon duck" and "a certain cartoon mouse."

We also bought a printer that caught on fire and almost took down the entire building. We were happy customers for years, but it looks like we have to head to staples from here on out.

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Had a great meeting with Dwight Schrute in regards to our direct mailer needs and placed an order. Overall great experience until I got back to my car and noticed a red haired woman who worked there having sex in her mini van directly next to me. When we caught eyes rather than her cover up, she actually rolled the window down and invited me to join and said she'd give me coupons for steaks if I did. Will do business with them again, probably won't ever go back to their office.

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I used to manage a small company called Heymont Brake and Tire. We had Dunder Mifflin as our paper supplier for several years without complaint. All our orders were filled quickly and without issue, and our sales rep was perfectly pleasant and professional.

One day, in late 2012, I received a sudden call from Pam Beesly calling my mother fat, and saying she was the kool-aid man.

My mother had recently died and had struggled with obesity all her life. I understand there was no way for Mrs. Beesly to know that, nor was there a way for anyone at Dunder Mifflin to know that, but I found the insulting call extremely unprofessional and vulgar and was extremely offended. I immediately ended my relationship with Dunder Mifflin, which i understand is under new ownership, and will not be returning.

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My company has a huge account with Dunder Mifflin. Due to this, several years back their branch manager (at the time) Michael stopped by our office to see if we were satisfied with the service. Previously there was a big to-do about an inappropriate image on some of the reams of paper we received. He wanted to personally hand me a certificate for a two week supply of paper. What am I supposed to do with that?? Anyway, the entire time he was in my office all he did was stare at/talk to my boobs.

He invited me to their Christmas party, mentioning something about how black people shouldn't stay chained to their desks all the time. I politely declined. Once I did he rescinded his offer for two weeks worth of paper, said I was "stupid anyway" then walked out to his Sebring. It took him a few minutes to get to his car because right outside there's a fountain and well, let's just say he did a little swimming today.

Sometimes I'll get random plastic surgery advertisements in the mail or crank calls from "Michael Jackson" asking if I've gotten a boob job yet. I feel like these calls are coming from a Michael but I can't prove it. Their current manager, Dwight, has promised to help me get to the bottom of it.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS:
If you know, you know.
1 posted on 02/15/2024 3:15:18 AM PST by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz

Those are as good as the reviews for Haribo Sugar Free gummy bears.


2 posted on 02/15/2024 3:22:08 AM PST by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children)
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To: Lazamataz

My life is like the office. I sometimes think they stole my life in some of those episodes. And I am Michael Scott, literally.


3 posted on 02/15/2024 3:24:59 AM PST by TermLimits4All ("If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.")
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To: Lazamataz

WOW, now I know what happens before my coffee kicks in.

I read the title and thought the company’s name was Din-Do-Nuffin Paper Co.

Need More Coffee!!!!


4 posted on 02/15/2024 3:26:25 AM PST by OHPatriot (Si vis pacem, para bellum)
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To: TermLimits4All

In one of the first episodes when the basketball challenge happened, at the end of the episode, fat dumb Kevin turns out to be a basketball GOD. If they had put him on the team, upstairs people would have CREAMED the warehouse folk.


5 posted on 02/15/2024 3:30:19 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: EvilCapitalist

Glad you enjoyed! Several of the reviews I forgot to include:


Highly recommend Creed Bratton, he’s the best salesman I’ve ever met. He can find you anything you need, Dunder Mifflin is probably the best arms brokerage I’ve ever had the privilege of doing business with. Only reason I didn’t give it five stars is because they never actually let you in the building and you have to meet Creed in the parking lot....


Im a dancer and was hired for a bachelor party, I was greeted by Jim and this weird guy, dwigt. Everyone was really nice. The manager Michael requested a dance but halfway through got upset and left. Dwigt brought me upstairs and requested I answer phones (with my clothes on??!!). The receptionist was really pretty, she could probably be a dancer if she wanted. They paid me but Dwigt refused to tip, he stated he “wouldn’t tip for something he could do himself”.

- Elizabeth


Was attempting to get ahold of one Creed Bratton involving some paper issues, wrong thickness wrong texture etc. And was told he had been apprehended by local authorities and was being transferred at the federal level awaiting being questioned regarding weapons grade L.S.D. So now there seems to be no one to answer the questions. One Dwight shrute insisted I had been sent by a Jim Halpert as a prank at this point I’m livid


6 posted on 02/15/2024 3:34:27 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: All

Regarding the review by Elizabeth, the dancer, who wrote:

“The receptionist was really pretty, she could probably be a dancer if she wanted.”

If she thinks Pam was cute then, you should have seen her a few years ago. rrrRRROOWWrrr


7 posted on 02/15/2024 3:38:02 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: Lazamataz
"Oh, no! I'm a woman??"


8 posted on 02/15/2024 3:48:14 AM PST by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: Lazamataz

Another episode that was previously memory holed. I may start watching the entire series again. Thanks.


9 posted on 02/15/2024 3:55:01 AM PST by TermLimits4All ("If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.")
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To: Larry Lucido

LOL


10 posted on 02/15/2024 4:06:45 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: TermLimits4All

I personally identify as a mix between Dwight and Jim. I have the sweet side of Jim, and the severity and weapons-obsession of Dwight.


11 posted on 02/15/2024 4:14:17 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: Lazamataz

Laz, it is so funny you said that. I have thought the same about myself. Sadly, the truth is that in the corporate world I have been most like the unfortunate manager guy. Maybe there is a little of all of them in us which is why the show really was so stellar.


12 posted on 02/15/2024 4:54:06 AM PST by golux
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To: Lazamataz

That’s awesome. Exercising your God given rights is important.


13 posted on 02/15/2024 5:04:48 AM PST by TermLimits4All ("If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.")
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To: OHPatriot; Lazamataz

LOL! #metoo. Condom up with that redhead Laz. Gotta go to the hardware store to get some Redhead fasteners today.


14 posted on 02/15/2024 5:15:50 AM PST by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: golux
Sadly, the truth is that in the corporate world I have been most like the unfortunate manager guy

You mean Micheal Scott. Maybe I am self-unaware, but I am SO not like him. Managerial wise, I'm more like David Wallace: No nonsense, won't accept excuses, very willing to recognize success.

15 posted on 02/15/2024 5:37:44 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: golux

...and throw in a LITTLE Robert California, with the sex-obsession thing. 😂


16 posted on 02/15/2024 5:47:33 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: PGalt
Meridith? Aww HELL naw....

Maybe that cute purse-saleslady in the last episode of Season 1.


17 posted on 02/15/2024 5:51:29 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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To: EvilCapitalist
Here's a link to ALL the reviews
18 posted on 02/15/2024 5:53:21 AM PST by Lazamataz (Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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