Dang! That’s no fun. I clicked just to read the comments.
If you buy hard liquor wearing your Jesus Saves shirt to prove you're not legalistic ... you might go to a "high church" Protestant church. LOL
If when drinking a glass of wine you tell your friend, "This isn't as strong as I had Sunday" ... you might be Catholic or Episcopalian. LOL
If you tell people that you've never been drunk, drink only a glass of wine only a few times per year, but tell folks that perhaps the story in John 2 about Jesus turning the water into wine and it being the best wine served last instead of first, might be a reference to an old Jewish custom of a father setting aside wine when his daughter is born to use years later for her wedding and serving that first...you might be a Christian nerd living in the Bible Belt used to deep Bible conversations with other Christian programmers. LOL