Posted on 02/11/2023 2:05:58 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?
A 20-year-old young woman who dropped out of college decided to return to school after a year of working in her boyfriend’s family’s restaurant business. For the sake of her story, we’ll call her Jane.
Jane’s parents had set aside 30,000 dollars in a college tuition account for her. But instead, her parents used the money to remodel their kitchen after Jane moved in with her boyfriend, despite her parent’s advice not to.
When Jane realized what her parents had done, she was shocked and angry. She asked for access to her college tuition account. Still, her parents refused, citing their previous conversation where they explicitly stated that they would use the money for something else if she dropped out of college.
Jane’s parents advised her to attend a cheaper college or work part-time while attending school to help pay for her tuition. Additionally, her mother has offered to help her financially.
Still, the father is hesitant as they are approaching retirement age and a little behind on their retirement goals. The father has also offered to let Jane stay at their house for free so she can focus on paying for college.
However, Jane has been ignoring her mother’s phone calls, and the father is now questioning if he is the jerk in the situation. Here is how the internet responded to his concern.
It’s a Costly Lesson
“This situation is harsh on your daughter, but you’re not the jerk,” one explained. “She decided to drop out, and with that came you telling her that you’d use the remaining college fund money for something else.
I also presume that at the time of her dropping out, she presented her decision as permanent since she said that college wasn’t for her, meaning that you don’t know how long Jane would’ve taken to return to college if she had gone back at all.
‘But I thought you were bluffing’ is an inadequate response. You don’t get to use that line when making a life-changing decision and are given conditions by the people financing you. She just learned a costly lesson.” Another agreed, “That was a gift, and she didn’t use it, and her way of responding to the situation shows how ungrateful she is.”
You’re the Jerk
“You spent all 30k on a kitchen remodel? That’s not a retirement goal; she only took a year off. Have you spent all of it already? You’re the jerk for not having the foresight or consideration that she might regret the boyfriend thing and spending the money that quickly.
Many kids make mistakes during college, mainly because it was just a year off. You didn’t need to jump to use that money. I get she made a choice and the mistake over a boy, but you could have been a safety net for her.
Parents are supposed to account for the fact that kids make stupid mistakes and choices. But instead, you took it as an opportunity to make sure she couldn’t bounce back quickly over something cosmetic and superficial, and you did it quickly. Which is gross.”
Not Compassionate
“You’re the jerk. You saved for your daughter’s education for 18 years, yet you didn’t hesitate to put the money to other uses the moment she diverted from a traditional education path. If you genuinely meant the money for her education, you could have held it for her in case she returned to school.
Parents giving kids college money should be like the GVT "giving" colleges money, it comes with strings attached.
She’s learned some valuable lessons. The real takeaway is that kitchen remodels are outrageously expensive. I might have missed it, whatever crap nonsense degree she was working for?
At least when she visits home, or if she never leaves, she will be able to eat well.
Then again, she could take all her classes online in the new kitchen.
I have no problem with the parents not giving the rest of the money to her for college.
The only problem I see is spending the money on a kitchen remodel if the parents are behind on retirement goals.
If the daughter is not in school and not helping paying housing costs then she needs to be kicked out. She has a job.
The boyfriend needs to be kicked out if he is not helping out too.
Why can’t she take out a loan?
The headline is leading/misleading
The parents didn’t use her money. I thought they had taken her loan money that’s really bad
” What you fail to accept is the fact that it wasn’t YOUR money to begin with. We set OUR money aside for your education, which you later abandoned so you could shack up with your boyfriend.”
Our kitchen looks great, btw.
I agree except if the intention is to sell the house and bank the equity for their retirement. Then upgrading the kitchen pays off in a higher home value.
Parents are right. They in no uncertain terms said what would occur if she dropped out of college. Further it was never her money in the first place.
This father is a cruel SOB. His daughter needs his financial support so she can piss away good money on a worthless college education. If she doesn’t go to college, how else can she be indoctrinated into Wokedom and get a good degree in gay and gender studies?
It wasn’t her money. It was the parents’ money. They could do whatever they want with it.
“parents are behind on retirement goals.”
They don’t need to worry about retirement, the GVT will be there with social security. /s
Many College grads paid their own way thru college.
She can too.
BTW, what happened to the money she earned working at the restaurant?
Is there still a GI Bill? If so, all is not lost. It put me and a million (?) other vets thru college, what with me working summer jobs and other odd jobs here and there when I could. Even if there is no longer a GI Bill, you could still do it on your own, if the determination is there.
Kitchen remodeling often doesn’t pay for itself in a higher sale price. The amount the people in the article paid is between “minor” and “midrange,” so maybe they’d expect 70% ROI, unless they were bringing a 1990s kitchen into the current century:
National minor kitchen remodel ROI
ROI: 81.1 percent
Average cost: $21,198
Return: $17,193
National midrange major kitchen remodel ROI
ROI: 59 percent
Average cost: $63,829
Return: $37,637
The parents are so in the right. Probably a lot of yelling and drama and wasted money on a half semester? Because it was not the kid’s earned cash she didn’t see it as valuable.
Parents should not get upset over BS accusations, but remain open and loving to helping her in reasonable ways. If she is woke she might try anything to hurt her parents at this point.
As for the remodel vs retirement, that remodel likely just increased the value of their biggest asset a lot more than interest on that amount would earn.
That’s a good deal for a kitchen remodel. I’ve had 2 quotes at 3 times that price...
She’s sounds entitled. Time to break her of that habit. Dad keeping HIS $30K is a good start.
I paid my own way through. I worked two PT jobs, lived in slum housing, ate a lot of pasta and took seven years to complete (working course schedules around my job schedules) but it’s doable. TBH, I wouldn’t have wanted my daughters to live like I did and they didn’t have to.
She’s not entitled to anything. Your parents don’t “owe” you a free education nor do they “owe” you the wealth they built up after a lifetime’s worth of work.
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