Sounds like sour grapes.
That Coca Cola (no longer widely available) is probably no good - you peons will be better off with tea made from weeds, and you will like it!
https://healthytearoom.com/why-should-you-drink-ivan-tea/
Ivan tea is remarkably rich in minerals and vitamins, placing it well above the majority of other herbal teas. It is caffeine-free and unlike regular black, green, or white teas, it does not contain taurine, purine, oxalic or uric acids.
Ivan Tea naturally carries 16 amino acids and a significant amount of macronutrients, such as potassium, sodium, calcium, and phosphorus. It is rich in vitamin B and contains more vitamin C than lemon. It is also celebrated for its anti-inflammatory properties, so it is recommended for people with gastritis, colitis, gastric ulcers, and flatulence. The bioflavonoids in the tea increase the activity of antioxidant enzymes in the small intestines, liver, lungs, and the small bowel, which makes them tea an effective natural detoxifier. A concentrated brew of Ivan Tea remedies food or alcohol poisoning.
I found Mexican Coca-Cola at Big Lots, made with real sugar, tastes like the real thing from childhood.