Cherry... He needs it. We need it. He is indeed terminal and as it gets worse it will keep us all from needing to give up our careers to care for him.
But we are back to “government ownership” at this point. 15 years ago we finally talked this tough old man into living “inside” a single wide trailer. Until then he slept outside on a cot in the yard as he has done all his life.
He had a business supplying most of southern Ca and Az with wholesale truck tires. He personally loaded, stacked, and delivered about 400 tires a week living out of his delivery truck.
He finally stopped stacking truck tires in stacks 8 high in his truck at the age of 79 years old. His high school football back injury finally took it’s toll.
All the while he camped in his truck in a bed roll either in the back, underneath, or on top of his truck. Many many times in south central LA to pick up.
Yet now, city weak minds do not believed this ever happened. He and we are liars. So... At his point now we as care takers are guilty of abuse and neglect for the way he lives, wants to live, and we legally have no power to legally change. So a Sheriff’s investigation will be started right off the bat. Even though we have “I want to die at home”.
Not his choice, he has to die by THEIR RULES, not his own...
HE BELONGS TO THE CITY MIND AND LEGAL SYSTEM THAT DOES NOT UNDERSTAND. HE NOW BELONGS TO THE GOVERNMENT AND MEDICAL SYSTEM.
So we have him at my daughter’s house in the city on hospice. And if we take him home to die as he prefers WE will go to jail for abuse and neglect... Because in their minds we should have forced him to live where he DID NOT want to live.
City shit... I hate city crap. It is a culture being forced on us country folks. And THIS is how they do it... Take and disregard 112 years and 6 generations of pioneer tough ass rural country lifestyle they do not have the intestinal fortitude to even try to understand...
Our problems in this nation are City vs Country cultures...
There are good and bad hospice agencies - you can fire the one you have and get one on the same page as you!
My FIL (end stage dementia) at our home, on hospice for almost 6 months, they have provided equipment, supplies, a weekly nurse visit, CNA, chaplain, etc. He is only on meds that we want him on, no morphine or pain meds as they are not needed. They provided a wonderful hospital bed with alternating air mattress to prevent bed sores, hoyer lift, gerichair, portable toilet, shower chair, ramps…
They have treated every issue that has come up, skin tears, UTIs, infections, reflux, sleep issues, etc. They sent him to the hospital once for stitches. We didn’t like the first nurse and they agreed to only send a nurse that we like and she is amazing.
He has clearly stated in his end of life wishes that he does not want extraordinary measures, a DNR, so a heart attack or stroke or other major medical emergency we will not treat because those were his stated wishes. However, our agency was clear from day one if we ever wanted something treated, we could pause hospice, have it treated, and reinstate him after. It happens quite a lot as I’ve learned from a dementia board I’m on.