Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his

ABC ^ | 22 December 2021 | AP uncredited

[blueplum]

CLEARWATER, Fla. -- Florida authorities said they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man's penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his.

Pinellas County sheriff's deputies said they stopped a vehicle driving without its lights on at 4 a.m. last Saturday. WFLA-TV reports the driver was arrested on charges of DUI and marijuana possession....

[blueplum]

in case you hadn't 'heard it all' this year....

The driver declined to name who the drugs did belong to.

[bagster]

The penis fairy planted them. Obvious frame job.

Sounds legit

[digger48]

Penis fairy?

That could be any one of the CNN anchors

[Equine1952]

Was he obese? The drugs could have been there for years. Without a mirror on the floor how would he know they were there?

[rdl6989]

Plausible.

[Equine1952]

Florida Woman strikes again.

[FreeperCell]

That’s where she hid them.

[dayglored]

The Babylon Bee needs to do something about Florida. It's giving them a run for their money.

"What? Is this real or satire? Who made this sh*t up? What? It's real???"

[Mark17]

How would the cop know to check?

[cranked]

Yep, that is a new one, very original. /s

[I Drive Too Fast]

Florida man ping.

[Mark17]

I know, I know, click on the link. 😊

[Equine1952]

“Look officer, I don’t know where that came from. I’m sort of over weight ya know. How’s my pecker look. I mean it feels okay.”

[Trillian]

Also known as the tinkle fairy.

[digger48]

I’m pretty sure the last time I flew that the guy knew whether I was circumcised or not

He was quite...thorough

[21twelve]

That’s a “dickey-do” body.
.
.
.
.
.
“My stomach sticks out more than my dickey do.”

[fieldmarshaldj]

Andrew Gillum at it again ?

[Mark17]

LOL. I could believe that. 😀

[Eleutheria5]

How did they get probable cause to make him drop his pants?

[Veggie Todd]

Glenn Frey’s Smuggler’s Blues comes to mind. Pun intended.