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JEWISH MOTHER
The year is 2024 and the United States has elected the first
woman as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldfarb. She calls up
her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, “So, Mom, I
assume you’ll be coming to my inauguration?”
“I don’t think so. It’s a ten hour drive, your father
isn’t as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.”
“Don’t worry about it Mom, I’ll send Air Force One to pick
you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up
at your door.”
“I don’t know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy, what on earth
would I wear?”
Susan replies, “I’ll make sure you have a wonderful gown custom-made by
the best designer in New York.”
“Honey,” Mom complains, “you know I can’t eat those rich
foods you and your friends like to eat.”
The President-to-be responds, “Don’t worry Mom. The entire
affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, kosher
all the way. Mom, I really want you to come.”
So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2025,
Susan Goldfarb is being sworn in as President of the United States. In
the front row sits the new President’s mother, who leans over to a
senator sitting next to her and says, “You see that woman over there
with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States??”
The Senator whispers back, “Yes, I do.”
Mom says proudly, “Her brother is a doctor.”