Doctor’s Exam
A Muslim immigrant goes to a Doctor in Houston, Texas and says “I feel terrible”.
The Doctor examines him and then says “You need to pee and crap in a bucket for a week,
throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage. Put a towel over your head hold your face
over the bucket and inhale the vapors for 3 days”.
The man does this and goes back to the Doctor and says “I feel wonderful!!
What was wrong with me?”
“You were homesick”.
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, “Thank you
Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps,
free medical care, and a free education!”
The passerby says, “You are mistaken, I am a Mexican.”
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. “Thank you for having such a
beautiful country here in America.”
The person says, “I not American, I Vietnamese.”
The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand,
and says, “Thank you for wonderful America !
That person puts up his hand and says, “I am from Middle East. I am not American.”
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, “Are you an American?”
She says, “No, I am from Africa.”
Puzzled, he asks her, “Where are all the Americans?”
The African lady checks her watch and says, “Probably at work.”
LOL!
Bear: Do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?
Rabbit: Not at all!
.
The bear then grabs the rabbit and uses it to wipe his butt.
LOL
My wife bought me a new set of bathroom scales.
After a few days, she asked “Do you like your new scales?”
I said “Yes. They are very accurate. I now know how much my poop weighs.”
She said “Do you weigh yourself, go poop and then weigh yourself again?”
I thought about it and said “I guess that technique would work.”
The Ilhan Omar Story...
I’m a native Houstonian.
That sounds like it came from Dr. Red Duke. A serious bad-ass, even in his 80’s.