In before Ten!....................
A man being audited is sitting in an IRS agent’s office. The agent says,
“I see you own a sandwich shop in New York City?”
“That’s right,” the man replies.
The agent continues, “And you’re declaring $120,000 income?”
“Yes, sir,” the man says, “Is there a problem with that?”
“No,” the agent answers. “But I do have a question about a certain deduction.
It says here you want to deduct a trip to Tahiti as a business expense.”
“Ah,” the man says. “Did I mention we deliver EVERYWHERE?”
When our lawn mower broke my wife kept nagging me to get it fixed. But, I always had
something else to take care of. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
I found her seated in the tall, unmowed grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair
of scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said,
“When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.