On my analysis I reasoned that the sensor that detected a jam for the paper path was stuck. So before I did anything, I explained that famous scene in that classic Bruce Willis sci-fi movie Armageddon where they got stuck on the space station and the computer refused to allow them to detach from it.
The Russian astronaut who was the sole member on the station, just totally went berserk and grabbed the biggest monkey wrench around (about 5 ft long) and yelled to Bruce "Well let me show you how we fix things in Russia!" and proceeded to whack the computer with blows from this huge wrench - the computer rebooted and allowed the spaceship to disembark!
So now as I'm faced with this malfunctioning printer, I proceeded to do the most unusual repair I've ever attempted in my 30yrs of fixing computers - I simply held it on both sides and banged it on the desk 3 times.
It beeped, whirled and did a internal reset and self-diagnostic. When it finished with its self-check, I just loaded some sheets of paper in the paper tray, and all was back to normal - as my friend look on in incredulity and her mouth dropped wide open!
“In Soviet Russia, YOU boot computer!”
“...the HP3830 inkjet printer...”
First mistake after which all which follow are owned by that person.