Most women feel pressure to change last name, get joint bank account

https://nypost.com/2020/02/04/most-women-feel-pressure-to-change-last-name-get-joint-bank-account/ ^ | Feb. 4, 2020 | Allison Sadlier

[Texan5]

I’m the “she”/female-and not handing all finances to a partner who may be careless or unused to managing finances-or perhaps even gullible-isn’t my idea of being afraid they will spend all of OUR money (we were both employed)-it is making sure there is not a conflict caused because that partner got US hopelessly in debt, sued, etc-if both have a separate account, at least the damage is fixable-WE can hire a lawyer with money from the frugal partners’ account...

Texas is a community property state-you own 50% of your partner’s debts incurred after the marriage as well as the assets acquired-divorces have been caused by much smaller things than financial ruin...

[Jamestown1630]

I would have changed my name if there had been children.

I’m sorry that you went through a divorce. When you think about it that way, maybe it is a good idea for each of a couple to have their own little ‘stash’ of money.

(In the most beneficent possible instance, you could buy each other secret presents :-)

Money is one of the things that my husband and I have never really argued over. We just ask each other if it’s ‘ok’ to buy something, and we both usually say ‘yes’.

Sometimes something comes up that seems extravagant, or for which it is the wrong time; and we reason it out.

(But I recall a day in the thrift store when I wanted a pristine, really cheap vacuum coffee maker - and he said ‘no’. He was more concerned with storing it than spending money on it, though...and I’ll get one someday :-)

[Tired of Taxes]

you could buy each other secret presents :-)

A very good reason to keep some money separate. :-)

Money is one of the things that my husband and I have never really argued over. We just ask each other if it’s ‘ok’ to buy something, and we both usually say ‘yes’.

That's what I'd call a perfect marriage. Talking honestly with each other about money (just as you do) is exactly what all couples should do.

[Jamestown1630]

Oh, Money is the least of it.

He makes me breakfast every day, too - and he’s a better cook than I am. :-)

[Tired of Taxes]

No wonder you’re so happy! :-)

[Jamestown1630]

I have a lot of reasons to be ‘happy’; but that’s a very fleeting thing.

I’m content and confident because he’s a good, highly principled man, and I can rely upon his decency, intelligence, and good common sense. In my mind, I thank his parents all the time for raising him up right.

(I think there is only one thing we’ve really argued about in many years. He’s an excellent driver, knows all the rules and follows them religiously; but he expects other people to do the same. I’m the kind of driver who always expects people to do something batshit crazy - especially around here ;-)

[Tired of Taxes]

I’m content and confident because he’s a good, highly principled man, and I can rely upon his decency, intelligence, and good common sense.

You both must have those characteristics because that's what makes a marriage work: when a man and a woman share those values and both are trustworthy and good to each other.