Walmart Discontinues Auto Part Sales To Prevent Car Accidents

babylonbee.com ^ | Sept. 3, 2019

[Chgogal]

LOL

[SamAdams76]

Babylon Bee made me forget all about the Onion.

[spintreebob]

Walmart discontinues enabling obesity and diabetes.

Walmart discontinues support for Lookism.

[FrdmLvr]

I agree. And that’s saying a lot because the Onion had some pretty good ones, like the predictive text wheel.

[mrsmith]

The funniest thing is this actually has some connection to reality (though it would be too expensive for the poor).

[TangoLimaSierra]

If they stopped selling baby oil, would that prevent babies?

No, but there would be a lot of squeaky babies.

[TChad]

Excellent news.

Next up, the American Automobile Association.

[MHGinTN]

Cease not the output of Laztire.

[Ancesthntr]

They should also discontinue sales of:

all knives (even plastic ones);

bows and arrows;

rope and twine (useful for kidnappers);

pool chemicals;

scissors;

compasses (they have pointy things that go up, and can be used by assassins);

razor blades (especially those with evil high-capacity cartridges capable of holding multiple blades in assault razors);

all kitchen chemicals;

pesticides and weed killers;

grass seed (causes allergies that might be fatal to some - if you only save one life...);

all foods containing vegetable oil other than from olives and avocados;

any food containing trans-fats or saturated fats.

I know that this is an incomplete list, but we have to start somewhere in stopping the carnage caused by products sold at Walmart. This list is a good start, and so completely reasonable that if Walmart opposes it then it should be named as a domestic terror organization, just like the NRA.

[Ancesthntr]

“Every male should be castrated to prevent rape.”

---

That’s why we need guns and ammo! :>)

[lizma2]

ROFL! Yep, now nonsense is common sense.

[TADSLOS]

Well played, indeed.

Now, Wal Mart needs to eliminate mobile phone sales too, because texting while driving kills.