Posted on 06/12/2019 3:37:21 AM PDT by buckalfa
I don’t blame you one bit. It is great to hear that your daughter is doing fine.
In my 'yute' I was picked on by the class bully and I hit him in the head with a brick. Split his scalp open and he bled like a stuck pig.
Took a beating at school by the Principal, and one at home by my Dad {who then told me it was OK to hit him, but using a brick was too much}.
I needed the brick to even it up {kinda like a Trump tariff} although maybe a baseball bat would have been kinder.
Never had another incident with my new "friend".
In today's world, I'd have gone to juvie, and the bully's parents would have sued my parents.
Back then, when it was over, it was over.
Too often we see news stories about kids committing suicide due to bullying.
Glad to hear good news for a change.
And most times it’s the principal and the school who’s doing the bullying.
Nor gangs. The Administration denies both exists. If they have to take action against either, that confirms they exists. Therefore, they close their eyes and look in the other direction. Should a student complain, they are patted on the head and sent away. The Cardinal Sin that will get a student executed by the School Administration is defending themselves against either bully or gang activity directed against them. The same applies to the teachers. They have to suck it up and move on. When a bully busts their head in a classroom, they are to clean up the blood, grin , and soldier on. That is how the Administrators are paid the big bucks.
This lady is about to learn the hard way that the School does not give a damn about how her son is treated.
Yes, because we all know that “real world experience” is sitting in the same desk, in the same room, next to the same people who are all the same age in a government institution day after day.
Also in the “real world” when neighbors or co-workers trip you and hit you with a laptop you can’t move or quit. You just have to take it because after reporting it, it will continue and you will be severely punished if you fight back.
Good grief. It’s a parent’s job to protect their children while they are young and train them up to be responsible adults. Our oldest was a small, non aggressive kinda weak kid. We began homeschooling our kids his 3rd grade year. It gave him time to mature and grow physically without being pigeonholed as a “nerd”. In high school he was a captain on both the football and wrestling teams, competed on the state wrestling tournament individually and for his team. He now wrestles in college where his dad is the coach.
In elementary school he never would have been able to fight back. Now only a fool would pick on him. Homeschooling protected him from little creeps so he could develop confidence.
Sometimes a good “snap” is beneficial to everyone involved.
Back in the ‘70’s my younger brother and I rode the school bus. I generally sat close to the front and read a book. There was one particular kid, a year or two older than my brother but younger than I was, who could be a bit of a bully.
One day he was “picking on” my brother and me. For some reason, when I fet a spitball hit the back of my head, I had that “snap” happen. Without thinking about it, I turned around, grabbed him by his hair, and pulled him up out of his seat. As he dangled there with tears running down his face I informed him that he was to henceforth leave my brother and me alone. His sister, who was sitting beside him, did not say a word. He did indeed leave us alone after that.
All I can attribute it to is adrenalin. Ordinarily I could never have lifted him out of his seat that way. I never heard a word about it. (Our school bus driver at the time was useless- he could barely drive the bus, much less maintain any sort of order).
Yep. That “snap”. It freaked me out when it happened, and I don’t understand it (may be Adrenalin as you say), but I’m glad it happened.
OH Noes...the mean old mommy used harsh language on me!!! Wagged her assault finger even!!!!
I know exactly what the kid felt like, I went through the exact same things. Hit, kicked, hit with books, (computers didn’t exist yet, or at least no computer smaller than a basketball court), pushed off the top of a slide (which is why my back has always been a big problem)...I was usually too small and scared to fight back till I just lost it...
And only two school principals or teachers ever actually did anything...Usually I didn’t tell them but they knew...if you tell them, it gets much worse. Mainly because they do almost nothing, or nothing that actually works.
In one case, 5th grade, I found out later the principal had been waiting for it to boil over, he knew they guy had been on my case all year. They left us outside to pick up the balls and bats after softball, PE was 6th period, last thing of the day. He picked up the softball from pitcher’s mound, threw it at my stomach while I wasn’t looking, yelled “Hey: while it was in midair...hit me in the stomach. I’d had enough. Sometime late in the year, probably April...while he walked toward me, I picked up the ball, waited till he was about 10 feet away and threw it, hit him in the stomach, hard as I could throw. It doubled him over...but he caught his breath quick and asked me if I was trying to start a fight, up in my face. I took a half step backward, he was too close, and said “Hell yeah”, and knocked him on his ass.
The fight was on, I didn’t give him a chance to get up, I pounced and started pounding the crap outta the guy till I heard a whistle...principal standing on the front steps using his fingers - come here - oops...I knew I wouldn’t get on any trouble at home, I was defending myself. But at school, it was always school policy you got paddled for fighting...
So he called the other guy in, let’s say his name was Marvin. A minute later I heard him working Marvin over with the “board of education”...a 1x4 with 1/8 inch holes drilled in a 1 inch diamond pattern. I think I counted 20 licks ...then he called me in.
He told me he had watched the whole thing through the blinds, crafty old devil only pulled a couple of slats down so we had no idea he was watching from 50 yards away, and he knew the guy had been after me all year. He said if he ever gave me any more trouble, walk away and come get him. Then told me to turn around...YIKES...he basically patted me on the butt twice with that evil weapon, turned me around and - with a straight face, now, not even the hint of a grin - wagged his finger in my face and said “If anyone asks, you HAVE been paddled for fighting...
The kid never even looked at me again...
The other occasion, I think the year before, the one idiot who had been on my case all year slammed me against the wall with 2 buddies, all 3 twice my size of course, they never pick on anyone their own size...and informed me that I was going to show him my answers to the test that day or they were all 3 going to kick my ass. I’d had enough, I told him OK, I’ll catch all 3 of you one at a time, and YOU’RE first, and poked him in the middle of the chest with my left index finger...I had no idea what playing guitar for several years had done for finger strength, I almost knocked the dumbass down.
In class he sat beside me and when I moved the teacher made me go back to my original desk. The smug, self satisfied look on his face sealed it...
I held a blank sheet of paper over my test answers, made damn sure he couldn’t see a thing, and grinned at him every time I wrote an answer down. By the time class ended he was livid....he shoved me into the door frame on the way out and hissed “I’ll get you for this. I ignored him.
As I expected they were all 3 waiting when I got off the bus the next morning...with a baseball bat in my hand. I knew I had no chance against 3 guys all much bigger than me. I chased the ring leader around he school, when we got back to the front, the coach grabbed one of us, the principal grabbed the other. I’m pretty sure he could feel the wind on the back of his head when I swung the bat by then, I was catching up...
I have no idea what the principal told him, he told me I couldn’t go around chasing people with a baseball bat. I told him the whole story, and told him I refuse to help him cheat or let all 3 jump me and beat me to a pulp. Take the bat, I’ll bring another.
You can’t do that.
I can, and I will. I have a dozen. You’ll have to take every one of them till he leaves me alone. (I was pretty sure my uncle would want to know what happened to his bats too.)
He finally gave up convincing me I couldn’t do it, I refused to give in, he just told me to stay way from the kid and he’d take care of it...I told him they better leave me alone, I’ll keep my promise, I will catch all 3 one at a time. He threatened suspension, I said that was ok. I made a promise, I plan to keep it.
I never found out just what happened but when I got home from school, the bat was already there. The guy who was harassing me never even looked at me wrong again. I never got to keep my promise, they never let me get anywhere close to them. If I walked around the corner and saw any of the 3, they would run like hell the other way...I was really disappointed...I’ve never been a revenge kinda guy but I wanted revenge...and I’d made a promise I wanted to keep...
I have no idea what the principal did or said, but he got their attention. For once...
The rest of my 12 years in public schools, being moved around all the time, I think it was 11 different schools, I had to deal with it myself, teachers and principals did nothing. Even when they did know about it. Usually I handled it by knocking some idiot on his butt, then I’d tell him NOW you can leave me alone. It usually worked. My biggest problem was I was scared, didn’t want to fight in the first place, I hated it, and I put up with it way too long till I lost my temper one day. Usually about a month before school ended for the year...I was dealing with someone usually a couple of years older, who had failed a grade or two, a lot bigger than me, and of course they always picked on the smallest kid around...me. They never go after anyone their own size. Never.
School officials did nothing. Except make it worse. And this was before the paddle in school was banned. It was used on me a few times for fighting. I hated that. I was defending myself. In one case, 3rd grade, it took 3 teachers to pull me off the guy...but I made sure he started it...I just defended myself and finished it. I still got paddled. And I got it worse because I protested it...why do I get in trouble for what THAT jerk started? You can’t do that...Once I got mad I didn’t care, I fought teachers, principals, kids, it didn’t matter...I’d fight a gorilla...
And don’t even think about touching my sister...that’s the one time I didn’t put up with it forever. I had a hair trigger where she was concerned...Look at her wrong and I would go ballistic...in your face RIGHT NOW...Then I was the one who started the fight, and I didn’t mind that...I’d tell the idiot once, leave her alone. Once. Next time, the fight was on. And I made sure every time, he did hit the ground...do not harass my sister...bad idea...touch her and you didn’t even get a warning...girls are not here to be your punching bag...
Bullies don’t have to have a “reason.” The “reason” is in the bully, not the victim. The fact that the bully is a wretched human being is no fault of the victim.
That being said, the choice of victim then narrows down to the victim somehow being different and being percieved as weak or unwilling to fight back.
Years ago I had a workplace bully to deal with. From the moment she met me she took a dislike to me (it was mutual). Her “bullying” was verbal- mostly making nasty remarks that were not directed TO me but were very clearly ABOUT me. Reporting her would have been worse than useless, so I started ignoring her. She’d make a remark designed to upset me and I’d just stare at her blankly as if I had NO clue what she was talking about. She never completely stopped but it dwindled down considerably when I proved to be no fun.
Once upon a time, we had people working in the schools who had a bit of common sense. It seems to be almost nonexistent now.
When one of my sons was in middle school, a few years ago now, he had a classmate who liked to fight. He’d come home almost every day with a story about who “Joe” got into a fight with that day and it was generally a different kid, every time. The funny thing was, it happened in the dressing room in the gym, every time.
It finally dawned on me that the coach knew exactly what was going on and he was letting things sort themselves out. If he had intervened, both kids would have been in trouble, so he let the other boys defend themselves. The coach was an older guy who had retired, got bored, and went back to work.
The fighting kid’s parents knew there was a problem so they enrolled him in martial arts of some sort. That turned out to be exactly what he needed; he learned a lot of self-discipline, and he stopped fighting other people.
Excellent! Well done (by you and your daughter!)
My daughter was in a similar situation and when she reported the abuse the teachers tried to shame her into silence.
I descended onto the school and demanded to speak with the principal. I outlined the problem and inquired what she was going to do to resolve it. She tried to placate me instead of addressing the problem.
So I cut her off. “No. You don’t appreciate the severity of the issue here. You are responsible for the safety of my child. If you are unable or unwilling to do your job I will gladly intervene. But I promise that you won’t like the outcome.”
She expelled the two bullys. I got a restraining order forbidding me from going on campus.
I considered that a fair trade.
“And it said every third through 12th grader has a Chrome book with an anonymous hotline app so students can report bullying directly to the district.”
Who will probably do precisely nothing about it, other than to punish the bullied child if they fight back.
At least in my day schools mostly didn’t even pretend to care or really do anything about bullying - it was up to us to deal with it.
“A prissy bureaucrat had to be involved in threatening you.”
Yeah, that did happen, it was taken care of by my daughter’s godmother, who told the principal, “Drop it, or be in my office on Monday with your last 6 years of tax returns.” (She was an IRS auditor.)
Good job raising daughter!
I taught my kids to fight back against bullies. #1 son caught his bully alone in the bathroom and beat the snot out of him in the 5th grade. No more issues with anyone after that.
#2 son didn’t have any problems until high school. He’s a big kid and it only took two times of slamming bullies up against the lockers for it to end.
I did the same to a little bastid when my kid was bullied. I just did it quietly. Little kid turned white in the face from what I said to him. And I’m a mom. I’d do it again.
Those of us who worked in the advertising business or in academia.
He probably bullied her at home, and she was secretly delighted.
My grandson was having some issues with bullies at school recently. He said that if he were to retaliate, he’d be expelled as well. I advised him “speak loud enough so that nearby witnesses can hear you, and say ‘If you don’t keep your damned hands to yourselves, I will do whatever is necessary to DEFEND myself!’” And if they didn’t get it, or believe it, go to whuppin’ ass on ‘em. “Yeah, but then I’ll get expelled!” I said, “Good, I’ll take a few days off of work and we’ll go to the gun range, the amusement park, ice cream parlors, the beach, the movies… we’ll have a great time!” And you can tell the teachers ahead of time that it is our plan if they can’t get off their asses and deal with the bullies.
Alternate plan B is to find the baddest, mama-jama in the school, and tell him you’ll pay him $10 every time he whips ass on the bullies. If captured, name, rank and serial number only. Be sure to have him tell the bullies that your kid is his bestest buddy, and to leave him alone from now on. I had a cousin once that made all of his spending money that way in school.
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