I can’t imagine what you go through.
I was no where near any of it. But had contemplated taking a job with a local office of Marsh & McLennan, which would have put me there in NYC for some training on 9-11, based on my 2nd or 3rd interview, and I was asked whether I could make that work. I expected the job offer(probably mid-July), then NEVER back from them again.
I have always felt lucky they did not ultimately hire me.
Funny you should mention Marsh & McLennan. The company I worked for at the time of the bombing was a subsidiary of theirs called Guy Carpenter Insurance.
Marsh was kind enough to provide the bombing victims with a coffee mug, glazed midnight blue with a silver logo on it that said “Welcome back to the World Trade Center”.
Said mug was stolen off my desk, I strongly suspect by a federal employee, in DC about 8 years ago, kind of capping off just how thoroughly wrong every aspect of the situation was and continues to be.
That’s one thing about PTSD... having the situation remain unresolved decades later does not help at all.