If my son was picking on a girl at school, I’d personally apologize to the girls father, and make my son apologize as well. I’d tell the cops and DA to drop the charges against him, and refuse to allow my son to cooperate with their investigation.
If my son was NOT guilty of picking on the girl, then throw the book at the guy.
My gut however, as a father, is that more than likely the kid had it coming.
As a dad to a daughter, I agree with everything you say. After the fact, were I the alleged bully’s dad (and assuming he is indeed a bully) I’d tell my kid he brought it on himself and he needs to adjust his attitude. I’d also support dropping the charges and make the boy apologize. After the fact this is what I’d do. But I’d also take the other dad aside and tell him that next time he has an issue with my son, he comes to me about it and I’ll take care of it. If he touches the boy without doing that, it’s going to go very differently the next time.
My kids would be wearing a ridiculous costume and sign and standing in front of the school if they bullied someone. Punishment has to leave a mark and I’m not talking about a little slap.