Today's thread brought to you by Comtrex, which I am currently wacked out on.
Breaking News, Former Cowboys Linebacker Jeff Rohrer has become the first Former NFL Player to be involved in a gay marriage, he married a Keebler Elf a few weeks ago. Congrats Jeff!
"Thank you."
And your 'husband'...Billy is it?
"That's 'Billie', with an 'ie'."
Of course, what was it like growing up as a gay Keebler Elf?
"A challenge, my grandfather was less than supportive."
"My grandson completely misunderstood when I told him to pack the fudge! I was talking about the cookies!"
Joining us now is Jeff's former teammate Eugene Lockheart, Eugene did you have any idea Jeff was a nancy?
"I tell you I was blindsided, Imp. He used to blare Madonna from his 1980's syle boombox, he had a vast collection of oven mitts, he was President of the Lorenzo Lamas fan club, just an all-American guy to all outward apperances!"
Moving on, we have a couple coaches on the hot seat this week, Coach Omar Epps, your Stoolers have lost 3 in row now, you lost to the Raiders, what's going on?
"Well you see swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus and then Ben stubbed his toe in the lockroom, it's no big deal really, everything is fine."
"Uh huh, and Coach Belichick how about that wacky loss to Miami? Did your guys forget how to tackle? What was Gronk doing on that final play?"
"I'm just going to stand here looking super uncomfortable and act as if every word I emit from my mouth is causing me physical pain to utter."
So then....
"We're dissappointed, Miami was the better football team."
"Oh come on, my nana could have made that tackle."
"Ok the truth is I control my players with a joystack and the damn thing got unplugged so they just stood there."
"Now that makes sense."
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