Anyone have any unusual safety briefings?
“Be where you’re supposed to be, when you’re supposed to be there. Wear a rubber.”
Don’t walk between the props and the fuselage.
Don’t eat the yellow snow.
Had an instructor get his finger cut off while showing us why you don’t push the firing pin on a tank with your finger. Course as as an experienced tanker and turret mechanic I already knew that. Whacked it right off. He wasn’t even to the hospital before the other instructors drew a hand missing a finger on his chalkboard.
Don’t stand behind a recoilless.
Move your hand quickly once you drop a mortar round down the tube.
Don’t piss into the wind.
Don’t tug on Superman’s cape.
I was the safety NCO for several years. I had to come up with some creative ways, to keep their attention. Most of the time, I don’t think anyone was paying attention to me. They knew they shouldn’t shoot anyone, or sleep with the supervisor’s wife, or attend any parties, that they might have to recall, 40 years later. 👎
Safety could be summed up in two words. Common sense. Sometimes, people were lacking a little bit of that.
Most memorable one in the days before PC.
“Be careful where you piss. There might br an electrical outlet hidden under the snow piled against the wall.
It could kill all your little swimmers.”
Needless to say, that got our attention. It had happened the previous weekend to some poor airman outside a strip club on Colfax Avenue in Denver.
Don't subtract from the population
Don't get thrown in jail
If you do get thrown in jail, establish dominance quickly.
The Master Sergeant didn’t want us to be done too early, so he gave us a 45 minute briefing on SOS.
Yep.
Shirt Ona Shingle
45 minutes.
“First, you put down the shingle. Don’t put the shirt down first. The shirt must rest atop the shingle. You don’t want to cover up the shirt with the shingle.”
On and on for 45 minutes.
It became known as The Shirt On A Shingle Speech.
I think it’s still in use in high school speech clubs.
"Don't drink and drive, PT formation 0530 Monday, Have fun!"
The briefings in Germany were a bit better:
"If you get in a fight, win. Don't get caught by the Polizei, there's no police brutality here, they have submachine guns, and those spring-loaded batons of theirs hurt bad."
Dumbest ever “Don’t ask Don’t tell”
Basically said “LIE”
Same here: plain. It was the Guard, but we were a spit-and-polish MOS and unit. The commander spoke it to the platoons at the end of last formation after each drill and FTX before dismissal.
Wrap it before you tap it
We had to brief our comm team not to sun yourself on the top of the sitcom trailer (next to the microwave transmitter).
Found a new A1C sunning himself on top of the trailer while the transmitter was active. We saw him and pulled his dumb ass unceremoniously down. He already had a sunburn and not from the sun.
We scared the snot out of him telling him he had cooked the swimmers in his nads.
And don’t drag your lawnmower backwards - if you slip you can cut off a foot...and when caught in a lightening storm on the golf course, hold your one-iron over your head because even God can’t hit a one-iron...
20 years in the Navy. Ship pulls into port overseas. Drops you off in the worst part of town, and tells you not to go there.
Where do you think the sailors go?
Had a DIVO warn us about the “buy me drinkee” girls in Naples, how it was a waste of our money. Later I walked into a bar in Naples to find same LT with TWO of those girls.
Not unusual, but you should see the frostbite warning pictures the flight doc gave us every fall at Minot.