Far more likely the Monty Python rabbit scene than even “Self Defense Against Fruit”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piWCBOsJr-w
What they need is NRA training, but that will not be happening. Instead, they are taking guns, knives, and tools that look scary (even tools carried by workmen) from normal, decent people. I’m sure taking pointed sticks is next. Perhaps banning fresh fruit after that. Thank God our Founding Fathers were wise enough to pass the Second Amendment and protect our God-given natural rights.
Yep, everyone will be issued a green banana for self defense purposes. Because, as everyone knows, a green banana is so much more effective than a yellow one.