Like her mother, I got a degree from DELI University. I majored in Corned Beef, Salami and Bologna, the latter since I wanted a later career in politics.
Anyway you slice it, I’m qualified to be a candidate for the presidency of the United States.
I can read, write and speak English.
I was born here.
And I was educated here at Deli U.
I can “cut the mustard” with the best of them and I relish the chance to serve my country. I have soft buns but nerves of steel. Give me a chance to get America out of the pickle that it is in.
My election slogan is one that the three great philosophers, The Three Stooges, gave us - “Salami, Salami, Bolognie”.