It also is stupid to think that men and women can be just like sibling brothers and sisters. That line of reasoning doesn't account for infatuation and the stigma of incest. When I grew up with my two sisters, I often hated them. There was NO infatuation to cloud my perception of them. I saw all of their flaws and the way that they treated me. It is MUCH different when a guy meets a gal and sees only the nice front that she is presenting to him. And of course, the same thing applies vice-versa. The thought of committing incest never crossed my mind. It was simple unthinkable. However, with other women, lust is always POTENTIALLY just a few seconds away. There is NO comparison.
I can only be friends with fat and ugly chicks. Biology and chemistry override my sense of decency.
Add a woman in any group starts the catty behavior. Dr. Laura stop her show once and stated that women create 95% of all the problems in families. If you create the problems, it is hard to have relationships.
“The perennial question of whether men and women can be just friends...”
And perennially the answer is no for the vast amount of people. The reason is almost invariably because men want to have sex with any woman who is civil to them.
“Byrd is no fan of the Mike Pence rule, which as practiced by the vice president means he won’t dine alone with a woman who is not his wife nor attend events serving alcohol unless she is with him.”
I think the Chuck Berry rule is better. Before Berry (the music legend) would have sex with a woman he would require that she be photographed topless and smiling with his arm around her.
True, but so what? Our impurity is why we ought to avoid.
IMO Men and Women can be friends so long as neither is attracted to the other.
In tnis day and age with the me2 campaign seeking to take out some abusers and other men I find it even more sensible for Pastors or other men of standing to avoid all potential allegations of sexual impropriety by sticking to the rule that serves Mike Pence. From my reading I believe Billy Graham stuck to this rule all his live. The Word of Gos says that the heart is deceitful above all things. Anyone who presumes themsevles to be pire of heart and beyond temptation does not really know themselves as they ought.
If you’re pure in heart and spiritually mature, you won’t go astray, her theory goes .....
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Even if that statement was true 100% of the time, which obviously it is not, in this day and age and political climate, if you are a public figure, the Pence Rule is the smart way to go, IMO. People lie for money and political gain so no matter how pure in heart/spiritually mature someone is, they can still be set up (he said/she said - tough to refute, especially if you’re anything other than a Democrat) unless they take precautions.
So that's what I try to do.
The problem with this theory, is that one party can have their emotions and morality in check while the other person becomes the wild card based on the emotional examples and influences that surrounded them while growing into adulthood.
When I have to work with someone of the opposite sex, I always keep it strictly business with a little mentoring of needed, otherwise, I avoid getting into those situations like the plague because you never know when you'll be in the wrong place at the wrong time with someone unfamiliar who might be of questionable character.
Pence, Billy Graham, and others are taking a Biblical approach. They humbly recognize that about the time a person begins to believe in their "purity of heart and spiritual maturity" to keep them from sin, that's when they may be most vulnerable. Give Aimee Byrd a couple years, and odds are, her spouse is going to be "shocked" to discover she's just as vulnerable as everyone else. I pray that's not the case, for her family's sake, but she's playing with fire.
bookmarking for later.
In brief, I think both sides need to walk on eggshells with their comments. I’ve had friendships with the opposite sex that were not the least bit sexualized even when we were alone together then there are other situations when the slightest suggestion could have pushed me into desiring more.
We live in a hypersexualized environment where the culture turns women into objects, despite what feminists claim to want. IMO, there was a correlation of the rise of sexual harassment laws and the rise of strip clubs - men needing an outlet where it was safe to have sexy banter with flirtatious women so long as it didn’t go too far.
I do know that, as a batchelor who works in a predominantly male business, I thirst for female interraction. I reject segregated men’s only groups because I want to hear a woman’s viewpoint and thoughts on various topics so I can weight them with my own.
Sex....will ruin most “friendships”...
Folks have touched on it, and really hit it, regarding “integrity” with the Billy Graham post. Gotta run, and didn’t read every post, but didn’t see this, which is all I need to make sure I use the Pence/Graham rule:
1 Thessalonians 5:22
Abstain from all appearance of evil.
For later