Man Says Samurai Sword Attack by Girlfriend Was a Big Misunderstanding

The Cut ^ | 3/15/2018 | Madeleine Aggeler

[simpson96]

Last week, 30-year-old Emily Javier from Camas, Washington, was charged with attempted murder after allegedly stabbing her boyfriend, Alex Lovell, with a samurai sword because she suspected he was cheating on her. Lovell survived the brutal attack, and now says the whole thing was a misunderstanding, telling BuzzFeed News he wasn’t cheating on Javier, he was just playing too many video games.

“I was training too hard, it exhausted me,” Lovell said of his intensive video-game training regimen. “I felt bad because she needed the affection. I just couldn’t keep up.”

According to court documents, Javier believed Lovell was cheating on her after she found Tinder on his phone, and saw red hair in their shower drain (Lovell’s hair is brown, and Javier’s is dyed green).

“I was trying to kill him for cheating. That was my purpose,” she reportedly told police.

[simpson96]

[Larry Lucido]

“I meant the SUZUKI Samurai!”

[DannyTN]

[ThinkingBuddha]

Folks, learn from this; avoid dating crazy. Even more important, NEVER bring crazy home....let alone move in with crazy.

[Blue Jays]

"...training regimen..."

---

Well, he looks buff like a world-class athlete from all his tireless training efforts.

[chris37]

Oh boy, her hair is soooo purrrty!

Ugly girl with ugly hair, and so stabby! Nice catch, brah!

[ClearCase_guy]

The red hair and the Tinder remain unexplained ...

[wally_bert]

Maybe he watched Samurai Cop a few times?

[Yo-Yo]

Maxed out on the Crazy, but I’m not too sure about the Hot score.

[rockrr]

“Well that was unexpected!”

[gibsonguy]

Right there on the cusp.

[Charles Martel]

“I was trying to kill him for cheating. That was my purpose,” she reportedly told police.

Whether it was video games or a Tinder redhead that provoked the attack, Emily belongs behind bars.

[gov_bean_ counter]

It’s just a flesh wound...

[Caipirabob]

Haha...everyone has an "ex" like this. Don't they? Anyone? Hello? I should probably post less... 😬

[Lazamataz]

“I was training too hard, it exhausted me,” Lovell said of his intensive video-game training regimen.

You can't make this shit up.

[crusty old prospector]

The bandages around his wrists are probably for carpal tunnel syndrome and not stab wounds. He is a gamer of Olympic proportions. Send him back to his mother’s basement to continue his training.

[Flick Lives]

The girlfriend is what one might call an outlier on the Crazy/Hot Girlfriend graph.

[Bigg Red]

Charming couple.

[Enchante]

This has to be from The Onion..... please tell me this is a parody.

[Newbomb Turk]

50% Hot, 100% Crazy.