If the couple really wants you there, they’d pay for the trip and accommodations. Those type weddings, the ceremony is the destination, not the 50 years following.
Just say no.
Mine cost $500 - gown, suit, cake, venue and preacher. Only a couple of people had to drive over an hour. It was “we do”, a piece of cake and thanks for coming.
I got married at a 5-star resort on the shore in Hawaii. It cost me $17.00 - for my dress (not wedding gown) on the sale rack at Penney’s. I was Wedding Coordinator there and got permission to use the wedding garden any time the area wasn’t being used.
We gave our church’s preacher $50 for officiating. My best friend made a cake and punch that we had by the pool at her house. There were 10 of us. I ordered my bouquet from the hotel florist, and she ended up not charging me. (I had thrown thousands of dollars in profits her way over the years.)
There was no way we were going to do a big production. In my job I had seen wretched ecxess in the weddings I arranged, and had dealt with actual bridezillas (and their mothers). It really soured me on the whole hoopla.