AND..................
You just came back from a shithole country...........
You're being killed in some kind of supernatural way.
You're demonic.
You're a remorseful vampire who can't cry normal tears.
You're about to vomit your intestines
You're a holy relic
You've just seen a thread on FR about Helen Thomas
You've been stabbed in the eye with any number of objects.
You forgot. You've been playing with a BB gun.