Neither Hillary nor Michelle controlled their spouses. It’s one reason Hillary and Michelle were/are so angry all the time.
Bill spent his time as he pleased—with a fair share always devoted to skirt chasing. Obama spent his time with Reggie Love as long as he could, and with ESPN after that.
Hillary throws ashtrays and lamps, and Michelle lectures the little people (and hitches rides on gay billionaires’ yachts). The men in these two relationships are ultimately more in control than the women.
On the level of personal behavior, yes, Bill and Barack did what they want.
But, when it came to harnessing, directing, and riding raw political talent, I submit the women played a major role. Bill was too undisciplined to get all the way to the top without the ambitious and driving Hillary whipping him on and cleaning up behind him. I’m not as sure about Mooch, but she clearly enjoyed her ride to glory.
You forgot the guys Obama ordered off the tv like Kal Penn.