Facebook- A Nest of Scammers, Hookers, Depressives and Social Pariahs

Hello and how are you doing? I'm recovering from an alien abduction. How about yourself? Good to hear from you.am doing wonderfully great.i hope you have also been contacted by the CFDA ? I've been contacted by General Dookie from Planet Clacridox ok

Hi Wassup rocker? Am fine and am not a rocker Are you a roller then? No there how. No there how. No there how. Right then, you are a poet. Yeah Cool. What now? Where you come from A strange place Tell me I want to tell you but the voices won't let me But you know am not with you. Different country What country? Europa? Asia? Oceana? Neptune? USA But I am in the USA. What is so different about that? Wow that good so easy I like easy. But am scared. Hope you will care for me when I come to you You will have to climb a high mountain, cross a wide desert and swim a great ocean. Piece of cake.

Hi Hi Keira, so very nice to meet you at last. Really I've worshipped you from afar for all these years... Wow But why Go look in the mirror...

am francisca And I live near San Francisco. What a coincidence! okay Will you marry me? please i dont know you even not see your pic let me your pic No, it must be an act of faith. You must trust me. I have millions of dollars and drive a Lotus Screamer. okay i accept your proposal and now let me sees foto of u dear please No, my love...I shall forever be the great mystery in your life. You will tell your grandchildren of me. okay so wont u let me sees u That is a question that cannot be answered by mortals. But you are so very inquisitive. What makes you so inquisitive? nothing why u dont want me to see is it because of your age or what dear I am 19 years old and very athletic. Strangers tell me that I'm handsome. But, you poor thing, are struggling with the English language. If I may guess, I would say that you are in Russia or maybe Romania or maybe Cimmeria or ancient Sarmatia. okay where from you so do u work or study Well, you know, if we keep going on like this you will know everything about me and I will know nothing about you. Is that fair? No. So here's what we will do. I will ask you one question and step into the unknown...Do you like to giggle? yeah There we go, having some fun. What makes you laugh? nothing please You cannot laugh?! I do not believe it. yeah i cant because poor thats why Well welcome to the club. Is this your "earn money at home" time? meaning In the US we have jobs on computers where you earn money at home...making surveys, loaning money, soliciting sex. You have this in Russia, yes? no why can u help me with money I can help you spend it. I went to my bank today and they called the police. I am very glad I can run fast.

Hey A a big beautiful good morning to you. Hey I'm fine here and you Still having fun after all these years. What country are you in? am aduke from us,los Angeles but recently in west Africa im 30 years old by my age , and i have never been in love befor i am a conpetent economist by my profession and, a collection of textiles design and sewing materials and i was laid off job. Where are you from I am in California, USA What are you really looking for online here I am having fun meeting new people. It is like playing for me. I am just a child in my mind. Oh ok I have been in the hospital because I am a child in my mind. ok

Good Morning g Beautiful day!!!! I'm good and so happy today that my prayers had been answered Aww, that is wonderful. Did an angel bring you the answer? I don't know if you heard about the ongoing federal government giving out grant, have you ? A grant? How wonderful. You received a present from the government. You are so lucky!!! This program is meant for those who need assistance paying for bills, buying a home, starting their own business, going to school, or even help raising their children with old and retired people before the end of the year, Are you aware? No, I am not aware. Can I get some money too? Have you heard of Attorney Micheal Angelo Brown before ? No, is he your boyfriend? He was the man who help me get the grant money. He is a good and honest man i will forward you his private text number so that you can text him that you also wants to apply OK this is wonderful. I will buy a new Mercedes Benz automobile and give you a ride... 323 909 6958 text him now that you are also interested in applying for the grant Send me your number so i can send it to him so he can keep you updated OK, but first I am taking a taxi to the Mercedes showroom and pick out my new car! I am so excited!! I will call the taxi now and message you back and show you a foto of my new Mercedes!!

thank u how are nice to meet u Yes, isn't the Internet wonderful for meeting people. Unusual people... thank and were are u from I am from California, where they make wine. I am still a little drunk from last night. ok am from the gambia west africa please xcan u sent me your picture I am very old and very ugly. I don't want to scare you. but that is not problem I make children cry for their mothers. I think it is a problem. no that is not problem I do not want you to run away and cover your eyes and wish you were never born. ok that ok if u what see your pic how is weather there The sun is smiling on me. ok how old are u am 18 I am very ancient. I can be your great great great great great grandfather. but if u like i call u my mom OK, I will be your mother. But wait, I am a man, I must be your father. ok u will be my father. but my father i what to tell u some thing OK, I will listen with both ears. i whan u help me about my school we are coming to have and exam and awa principal sed if dont pay u will not sit the exam please if u can help I make magic for you and money will come to you today. You will be very surprised. ok u mean u will help me I will do magic. Ju ju. It will be a miracle. You will be very happy. ok do that i see can i give u my address to u so that it can be I don't require your address. Magic is not the postman, ok do that now the magic It will occur today. I do not know what time exactly. That is now how magic works. It is not like ordering pizza. Tonight you will sleep very happy but please help so that i can set my exam OK, you will see and then you will be very happy you sent me this message i want it right now please OK close your eyes and think of candy.

How are you doing Happy new month Be careful, it is our April Fools' day and I may trick you, lol! Haha lol Common be serious. Got something else to say I cannot be serious. I am like a child. I have been in the hospital for this condition. Oh okay Where are you now I am in California, USA, it is very sunny today and I am happy. Are you happy today? Of cause so happy the Lord heard been really good to me this year so far. WYCF are helping those who need assistance paying for bills,buying a home, starting their own business, going to school, or even helping raise their children with old and retired people,This is a new program in the year 2016,i got $120,000.00 help from the WYCF delivered to me when i applied for the grant and you dont have to pay it back.. you can also apply too There you go. Which Lord is it. I know of several The almighty God Ah, that Lord. My lord is not so almighty, but he makes me laugh a lot. Me too That is why we have God, to make us laugh. Yes my dear. You need to contact the agent in charge. Here is the head office help number +1 (339) 545-0886, just text them now tell them you heard about this from a beneficiary and you want to claim your grant more as well OK, I will contact the agent after I talk to my God and make sure that I will not lose the clothes off my back today.

hi Hi Stella. You having fun today? There is something that has been bordering me now for about a months ago which I would love to share with you. I just received a notification letter from Standard Trust Bank PLC, UK to come forward for the final release of my late dad fund which is £2,250,000.00 GBP, but because of my political background i don't want this fund to be traced to me and their are also rules and regulation attached to this fund., My dad was an underground agent fighting against terrorism in the states, he was assasinated during his mission in dubai.The bank official just advised me recently to look for a foreigners whom i can entrust with this fund and that can help me claim it.sweetheart, I looked everywhere around me but I can realize that you are the only one that could be trusted and fitted for this transaction.I want to present you to the bank as my husband/next of kin to this fund. My late dad attorney is already aware about this transaction and he will be taking care of the legalization/documentation of this fund and im willing to compensate you with 30% out of this! Are you willing to help me out? No, but I'm willing to unfriend you.

Hi Good morning. Is it morning where you are. Today we have much rain. I think my house might end up in the river. Yeah it is morning. How will your house end up in water? The river is everywhere. I think another house is floating by. There is a chicken on the roof and a very loud radio. Is that a movie I have many movies in my head. I watch them even when I sleep. Oh that's cool. How old are you? I know. I forget how old I am. I think I am very old. I remember only that my father wore the skins of animals for his clothing

Hi there It's Nancy! What took you so long? How are you I had my leg removed yesterday, but am otherwise quite well. How are you doing? Do you have both your legs? I am doing good and yes I am learning to hop on one foot. It is fun. I will hop to the shoe store soon and buy a single shoe. Oh okay I think I will need a soft shoe for more comfort. Yes.. I am hoping I will be able to use my skateboard again. Do you skate? No I don't I needed help can you help me You want to learn to skateboard? I needed 50$ from you The operation took all my money. I can send you my old leg. The hospital let me keep it for a souvenir. Maybe you can sell it and get the $50.

Hi Darzie, is that you? Yup I've waited so long. What do you mean Can you send your pics I cannot be photographed. The police might knock on my door. Why? What happened? I did some strange things. Things that should remain secret forever. Hmhm ok Wait me i know you ???? You said I've waited so long? Yes I am always waiting. Where have you been? Hmhm nothing Would you like an English lesson?

Hi I had a dream about you last night, Kimberly. Hmmm lol It was very strange. Tell me please. I was a puppet and you were pulling my strings. Lol can you send me your pics please.. I would love to send you my pics but the police came and took them last night. Oh my God you are such a funny man 😆 Yes, they broke the door and took all the food in the refrigerator and all my pics. They were going to use the pics to start a fire to cook all the food they took from the refrigerator. There is still some ice in the refrigerator. Hmmmmmm Ok Now I have no food and I am hungry. Hmmmm sorry babe.. I think I will eat my shoe for dinner tonight. Why? I have no food in the house. Maybe I will eat the cat instead of the shoe. Which do you think will taste better?

Hello Good evening how are you doing there today hey please if you are not interested in my friendship please just tell me than to ignore my messages because u are not better than me to ignore me i am also a human being just like you Hi. I do not ignore you my friend. I have attention disorder. The medicine is not working. I forget things all the time. I forget things all the time. I forget...what was I saying? Oh well thanks you are welcome and thank you for accepting me you are welcome, i am so sorry to tell you about that and you are welcome and how's your day been there today Ha ha, you are playing my game. Are you a boy or a girl or something in between. Your English is good. Oh well me i am a young boy age of 17 year old 17 is a dangerous age. So much trouble to get into, so little wisdom, ha ha. Oh well thanks and how old are you I am you grandfather, heh! Oh well and how's your grandson over there hope they are all doing good with you And i will like to call you my Grandpa I am very strict with my grandson. If he misbehaves I beat him on the place he sits. Oh well okay And i will like you to being my Grandpa I have a nice whip for horses that I beat him with. The whip is called Joey. My grandson likes to play with Joey. Oh well thank and where are you from I am from sunny California Me i am from the Gambia in West Africa and here we are in warm and sunny everyday I know. Africa is a warm climate with many jungles. Africa has plants that can eat a man in the jungle, yes? Oh well thanks and have you been to Africa before or you meet a friend in the Gambia or it's only me who you meet as a good friend in the Gambia. Oh my dear friend i never heard that Yes, if you walk too close they smell you and then wrap you up very fast and put you in their belly. Oh well thanks and what did you do there in your living I make repair to toilet. Oh okay It is very dirty job but I make lots of money because no one wants this job. Oh well thanks and i like it. That's nice jop my friend. How's your family doing there or you are alone there I am living alone. I have no friends. I think it is because of my job. Oh i am so sorry to hear that my friend. I can see that me is your friend Yes but that is because you live far away. People don't like my smell. Oh well that's not a problem my dear friend. I will like to called you my dad. My dear friend me i lost my Father alone time Yes, I have lost my father also when he was working on the toilets. Some bad man pushed the handle and my father disappeared in the pipes oh i am very sorry for that and i will like you to be my beloved father and i will like to call you daddy Maybe tomorrow. Now I must go to sleep and I will have a dream of saving my father swimming in the pipes. okay my dear friend before you go and i will like to call you on face book video call so that we can se each other I am tired and my eyes will not stay open. Goodbye. I will send you a million dollars tomorrow. okay OMAR CAMARA WESTERN UNION BANK BRIKAMA BRANCH THE GAMBIA WEST AFRICA and this is the full address where you will able to send us the help Oh well tomorrow don't forget okay and we will be waiting you here my dear friend and if you send the money you can give me the MTCN Number to me and Good luck and may God Bless you Goodnight You can buy a Mercedes with your $1,000,000 Oh yes but please try and send it to me tomorrow okay. And my dear friend you know that promise ever forget If I do no fall into the pipes I will send it. My house is very dangerous. There are many pipes. I must be careful. Oh well i know that tomorrow you will send it Wish me luck. Goodnight take care of yourself and i will be waiting you here tomorrow okay OK. Pick a color for your Mercedes.

Hello are you there No, I am not here. Why do you say so honey are you angry at me I am not here, I am in a dream. Do you want to be in my dream? yeah but why do you ask Because I do not like to wake up. Ok I understand now so what do you want from me I am afraid to ask. You will hate me. Ok I am asking you to tell me You will not hate me? No I won't . I want to see a picture of a part of your body. Ok honey you first I want to see a picture of your elbow. What do you mean by that will I then take a pic of my elbow its sounding stupid Yes, I have a problem with being stupid. But I think elbow is sexy. Ok see you first send me a pic of you naked You must not reveal this to anyone else. Ok I won't but you need to send it first (sends picture of Godzilla) I have just sent it. Do you not see it? I will send it again. Honey send it again (resends picture of Godzilla) I sent it twice already. If I send it again, the police will come. Ok what do you mean by that It was a naughty picture of me destroying Tokyo. Ok see send me some money to get a new phone please I cannot reach my wallet my hands were crushed by a giant reptile.

With all the stories about Facebook abusing their users in the news lately, here's evidence that users can fight back and have fun along the way. After being bombarded on Facebook with "Friends" requests from total strangers for years, and feeling a little bored, I started approving any and all Friends requests. In a couple of days I had over a thousand new Friends, 99% of them scamming me for money. It took only an instant to turn Facebook into my latest entertainment source. Occasionally some of the scam artists figured out that I was "counterscamming" and ended the conversation. Here are some of the conversations to lighten up your day...

Im laughing just imagining it.

Ive really been entertaining myself in a vaguely similar way.

Somehow my cellphone number showed up online with my friends name attached to it. Since then Ive been getting all kinds of scam calls.

Car/health insurance con artists are the most common. Its usually someone who doesnt really speak English reading from a script. I give them enough vague and misleading answers to get passed to “a licenced agent” who sounds American. I drag the calls out until I get bored. Then I start telling them about “my familys fungal infections”. When they ask for more I go into how I was doing some engineering for my clients from Beta Brahe and we all developed aggressive infections. I explain that the myconids cant help me because they would be murdering their family. The really greedy ones keep pushing for the right answers and I just keep rambling until I break down laughing at them so hard they hang up.

It has seemed to have an effect though, after you waste enough of their time after a couple of calls they take you off their list. Thats ok, there never seems to be enough victims anymore for mr to gaslight.

(I litterally laughed the whole time I was posting this thinking of all the clowns whos chains Ive yanked. Thanks for a fun afternoon.)

...

Somtimes I get to the point where Im explaining that I have the funds but theyre going to have to wait for me to pay. This is where many seem to start paying attention,”Why?” “Because myconids pay in spores and Im having a rough time finding someone to convert them to Terran currencies.”

LMFAO!

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