Posted on 02/24/2017 12:44:23 PM PST by BJ1
In a post published on Love What Matters, Billy Flynn explained: "It's my ex-wife's birthday today so I got up early and brought flowers and cards and a gift over for the kids to give her and helped them make her breakfast.
"Per usual someone asked me why the hell I still do things for her all the time.
"This annoys me. So ima (sic) break it down for you all."
He went on to explain why he chooses to treat his ex like this and what he hopes to gain from it.
"I'm raising two little men. The example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they see and treat women and affect their perception of relationships.
"I think even more so in my case because we are divorced.
"So if you aren't modeling good relationship behavior for your kids, get your sh** together.
"Rise above it and be an example. This is bigger than you.
"Raise good men. Raise strong women. Please. The world needs them, now more than ever."
(Excerpt) Read more at mirror.co.uk ...
You disagree about raising your kids to be respectful?
How can you douche on this guy trying to be a good dad in spite of the situation?
My ex is a great Mother and I never bad mouth her to our son, but Birthday presents?...This guy isn’t over it. I know...been there done that!
I think he is absolutely correct. On the downside the ex probably tells the kids what a scumbag this good man is.
quote “and a gift over for the kids to give her and helped them make her breakfast”
that is the key part.
He brought gifts over for his “kids” to give their mom. The fact that he isn’t married to the woman anymore is irrelevant. I buy my kids presents to give to other people all the time, nearly none of which I am married too. This is just part of parenting.
I disagree that to be a real man you need to buy your ex-wife presents for her birthday. You might do that for your son’s if you were married, but you aren’t anymore.
why do we know or care about this?
I think you’re supposed to raise your kids properly, and really that starts with staying married.
"Raise good men. Raise strong women. Please. The world needs them.
What part don't you get?
I think he’s being a great example for his sons. It would be better if they could work out their differences and fix what was wrong with their marriage, but if that’s not possible, at least act like adults.
So do I. You are a real man if you are an adult with a Y chromosome. (Before adulthood, you're a real boy.)
To assert otherwise is to support the trans- agenda, which contends that a person's sex can be something other than what his or her chromosomes designate.
>>>What part don’t you get?<<<
She left him. Article didn’t say why, but odds are for another man. He’s not living with his kids full-time anymore because of her. Rise above that and go make her breakfast, give cards and flowers on behalf of the kids is a bridge too far I think.
Have you been divorced?
Yeah the “coming over” and cooking part is weird. If they are litte I don’t see a problem with getting them gifts to give. Sounds like he’s trying to be a good guy. Probably right that he hasn’t gotten over it and may be using it as an excuse to stay in her life a little too much. Who knows. I like his raise your kids right opinion tho’
If my wife dumped me and blew up our family, I’d stay civil for the sake of my kids, but I wouldn’t kiss her a**. To hell with that.
I think that treating his former spouse respectfully and even in a friendly manner is probably a good thing.
But I think he’s going overboard. His behavior isn’t just a baseline respectfulness or a “respectfulness plus.” It’s elevating his ex-wife to a status she doesn’t deserve.
He can treat her respectfully and be a good role model for his sons and not provide this level of respect and attention.
I think this kind of level of care should be reserved for the special woman in his life: either another wife or a long-term, committed girlfriend.
He actually isn’t setting a strong example for his sons, but rather a weak example. A new woman in his life will see this behavior and likely become alienated, figuring he isn’t over his ex-wife and is trying to win her back. No woman wants to be involved in that situation (and rightfully so).
His sons won’t learn distinguishing roles and standards of care can be justifiably different for different people in life.
This kind of behavior is weak. Even if he isn’t honest about it with himself, he comes across as weak, supplicating, and trying to impress his ex-wife and show her that he, not the new guy she’s with, is the better man.
He’s not the better man. Behavior like this makes it very clear to the average woman, even if some men try to convince themselves otherwise.
Colloquially, he’s a complete cuck.
bkmk
I agree with the man in the article. No one here can judge his relationship with his "ex" but overall, maintaining respect and decency is extremely important in front of children. Even if one party is extreme or unreasonable - even the smallest children will respect calmness and rationality over anger and recrimination. Children crave discipline, and they crave stability. Divorce is a big hit to that. Nothing screws up kids more is seeing anger, pettiness and everything that comes from, coming from the two most important adults in their life.
My wife and I have a good marriage. We may disagree, but we both promote self-discipline and peace. My kids' friends (and I know their families) are drawn to our house and we hear a lot of comments they make: "I wish my parents got along like yours." or my favorite: "your parents work as a team - you can't get away with anything!"
Bingo.
If she did, I doubt he’d be doing anything more than necessary.
I see nothing wrong with this. I would typically have my daughter over the Christmas holidays and we would take nice vacations. I always made sure she “bought” special gifts of those locations for her mother and her step father.
For instance when we were in Palm Springs I would pick out a golf trinket from one of the fancy country clubs for her step dad.
I also made sure she called her mother and her grand parents.
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