Posted on 01/15/2017 11:38:16 AM PST by Hillbilly sage
I recently visited my urologist for the typical male problems. The nurse took blood, got a urine sample and left me for the doctor. Doctor comes in, gives me the remove everything and bend over the table look, which I do, knowing what is about to happen.
Doctor asks me what brought me in today and I tell him. He does his prostate exam which from glove on to “here are some tissues to clean up” lasts less than 3 seconds. What I did find out is shouting, “WTF” does make the doctor chuckle. He then gives me a prescription and tells me the main side effect is involuntary orgasm.
So for the next three months it is no tan pants, and all business meetings take place where I can sit at a table.
This is one of those (admittedly well-written and funny) stories where I inadvertently blurt out after reading: “there has GOT to be a better way.”
Same with colonoscopies.
In the early 1970’s, I worked with an old guy who had occasional prostate trouble. He said he wouldn’t be able to pee for a couple of days and he would drive with his wife to a doctor in Dallas.
He said the doctor stuck a probe way down in his urethra, past the prostate. Then the doctor pushed a plunger which caused some blades to pop out and he drug that thing out. He said a lot of blood and urine came out right behind the probe.
He took his wife with him so she could drive back home. He said he had trouble walking out of the clinic, much less drive. I don’t know for a fact if this was true or just a horror story to scare me. If it was intended to scare me, it did.
Good post. Your saga described my experience to a T, down to the middle school assistant. The only thing I would add is they don’t tell you until afterward that it’s completely unreliable. Unless you are riddled with cancer, the odds of them hitting the right area are slim to none.
You inspire me to a new measure of gratitude for my low PSA number.
They didn't find anything and my PSA number has gone down a bit since, so I haven't had a need for the procedure again.
Nowadays, I believe they don't do the procedure after just one high PSA reading. They do an MRI and then a few PSA follow ups first.
I guess the old guy forgot to tell you he had gonorrhea.
Very funny and accurate description of the procedure. I had a prostate biopsy and the pain I endured has only been exceeded by a root canal I had done by a dentist who neglected to freeze the tooth.
The biopsy was completely clean, no problems although it could not detect the rectal cancer.
Thanks for asking and have a happy Trump day.
I had the terrible procedure done described in the article about 10 years ago because my prostate was swelled and my urethra was nearly shut. Things showed that my symptoms were benign as far as cancer was concerned. (I have no family history of prostate cancer or any other cancer.) However, without finasteride my psa levels shot way up. So I took finasteride for 10 years to keep my psa levels down.
I just stopped taking finasteride. Now i’m sure that my psa levels are way up. Also, likely my prostate is likely getting bigger.
Will the procedure you describe reduce the raised psa levels or lowever the enlarged prostate levels?
And I got worried when my Proctologist played Village People during my colonoscopy before the meds knocked me out.
Cologuard, etc. is what they are recommending now.
How’s it feel when ya find out yer the horse on the Animal Farm?
I had an elevated PSA and had the biopsy. It came back positive and I had a radical that supposedly got it all and they say I have a 99% chance that something else will be my downfall. No fun getting the biopsy or having the surgery, but I owe it to my wife to be around for her as long as I can.
Its humor and not meant 2b factual
Any injury to (as in biopsy) or infection of (as in prostatitis) will raise PSA levels. Biopsy does not treat enlargement. If you have taken finasteride for 10 years your prostate should have shrunk significantly and the PSA levels should be much lower. Big prostates make more PSA than normal size ones which contributes to elevated lab values.
I've also been through several colonoscopies and barium enemas as I am at higher risk for colon cancer due to family history. Other than the grand purge of your bowels before the colonoscopy the procedure isn't that bad as you are pretty well sedated. Without going into the details with a barium enema... just plan on checking your dignity at the door and having pity on those 20 something X-ray techs that help with the procedure
So the hot poker up the d*(k is better than a room temperature probe up Uranus?
All men visiting their doctors thinking that the PSA test values tell them much about prostate cancer should be aware what Dr. Thomas Stamey has to say about it.... http://www.yourhealthbase.com/database/a153d.htm Stamey is the doctor who developed the PSA test in the 80s to be marker for prostate cancer. In 2004, he released another medical paper on the subject that basically refuted his first one as he declared that the PSA test, while good for identifying benign prostatic hyperplasia, it was useless as a marker for prostate cancer.
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