Gadzooks, Wild Card Weekend...
already?
Of course, the only authority the media trust these days... 
is Hollywood, so let's get the poop straight from the horse's mouth--
Well, Bendy, as you know, them peckerwoods... 
down in Houston don't have a quarterback worth warm spit--
But with Carr out, Seven's Waiders... 
don't either.
So, I'm backing Allegra's Bumbling Boys... 
to the hilt!
You have... 
a valid point, JR--
But as sure as my name is Jim Rockford... 
my and Sevens' Bad Boys will eat Allegra's Texican alive!
Hey, Lassie gave me... 
some really good advice--
Flipper, listen to an old Hollywood dog... 
who has been in the hun a very long time. You got them Stoolers right where you want them--
Right where... 
we want them?
Yeah, right... 
where you want them--
Listen to me and my Golden Girls-- Big Ben... 
gets his ass put in a sling my our Fighting Fish!
Naw, Bendy-- Pay them old broads no mind... 
the word on the street is that Miami don't have a fin to stand on--
LOOK! To our dying breath... 
we will support Eli and the Giants!
That's the problem, Barney-- Neither Harris, Nick nor I... 
are still breathing--
Gee, Richie-- You really think our Packers... 
will take the Giants?
Sure, Ralph, but to be sure... 
I'll ask the Fonz.
Fonz? Will the Packers... 
roll over the Giants?
Ayyyyyeee!! Does a Wild Aaron Boy... 
crap in the woods?
He does and will do the same... 
in Eli's dreams!
Hey, Fonzie! We got your... 
and Aaron Boy's back!
My and Clet's Lions not win? Fonz... 
you may get hammered for talking like that!
Now, Tim, I've got the tools... 
to change Fonzie's mind--
That you do, Heidi... 
That you do!
Okay, okay-- That's enough... 
Hollywood hype!
I'm betting with JR... 
that Allegra's Texicans slip by Seven's Waiders--
You know this means... 
you are not getting laid tonight--
Clet's Loinchops finally get it together... 
and wipe the Seathugs out of the playoffs--
The Phins truly are shark bait... 
and Big Ben smells blood in the water--
No joy at Lamb-Boo, big-- Eli's defense... 
stops Aaron Boy cold--
Well, that the way it will be... 
this Wild Card Weekend.
Man oh man, if this isn't the sorriest playoffs in decades!
1. Agree, two teams without a realistic QB, but I'll take the home team nonetheless. Texans.
2. I think the Lions can win against an imploded Hag team. Lions.
3. How did the Dolphins make it this far. Really? Steelers for the win.
4. Packers are simply on max fire now, and it's like wearing snowshoes in the desert to try to beat the Packers at home this time of year. Sorry, Eli but you and Odell are going to be home for the Superbowl. PACKERS advance.
Well.... Wild Card Weekend already. Only four games so how tough can it be to pick 'em?! Traditionally, three of these games will be blow-outs and one will be a dog fight. And after next weekend all but one of this week's winners will also have been eliminated. Nevertheless, they're playing this weekend and keeping score so let's make some Fearless Predictions!
Saturday, Jan 7
4:35 PM ET Raiders at Texans In some ways the most interesting game of the weekend, mainly because of the quarterback questions facing each team. Love the Raiders with Derek Carr, not so much with Conor Cook. No offense intended but he's a rookie with very limited game experience. As for Brock Osweiler, well, the Texans staff showed just how much they respected his QB skills already. However... someone has to win and Osweiler does give the Texans an edge. Good season for the Raiders and a shame they lost Carr. The Silver and Black will be back next year. TEXANS.
8:15 PM ET Lions at Seahawks The Lions come rolling into Seattle on a three game streak. A three game losing streak! Even though Seattle is not the monster it was as recently as last season, it's still tough to play in Seattle. And the Lions seem to be a one-half team: one good half and one mediocre or bad half. Can they stay close and pull it out in the third and fourth quarters? I doubt it. SEAHAWKS.
Sunday, Jan 8
1:05 PM ET Dolphins at Steelers This to me is the no-brainer of the weekend. Congratulations to the Phish on making the postseason for the first time in who knows how many years but their ride is over this weekend. Yes they beat the Steelers earlier in the season, but Big Ben and Bell and Brown are in a different form right now and have a lot of playoff experience too. STEELERS.
4:40 PM ET Giants at Packers Ah, the game of the weekend! How can you can go against Aaron Rodgers and the Pack, at home and on a six game win streak? Giants have a great defense yes, but sometimes you have to score more than twenty points. Eli's past successes at Lambeau in the postseason notwithstanding, the Pack prevails. PACKERS!
And in the Bonus Pick....
CLEMSON tops ALABAMA!
before I run out of martinis!