http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-07.html:
Crutch, Meet Crotch
2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
(November 2007, Russia) Late one night, Eduard entered the apartment of a 30-year-old handicapped man, who slept peacefully as Eduard quietly cleaned out the valuables. Eduard was preparing to leave when suddenly the man woke up.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes! The dark shape of some goon was standing next to my nightstand!” recalls the burglary victim. “I cried out and he attacked me, who was defenseless, with his fists! I had no choice. I hit him between the legs with my crutch, and he leapt out the window. Thank God I live on the first floor, and he did not die from the fall.
“I didn’t understand at first what had fallen out of his pants. When I looked closer, I realized that it was a testicle, a man’s testicle! I put it in cold water, and rushed to the phone.” The handicapped man dialed the emergency services several times, but “the doctors hung up on me when I told them I had ripped a burglar’s balls off!”
Half an hour later, the blood-covered thief was found by a passerby, who called the police. “An unconscious man was lying on the sidewalk,” said the police investigator. “When the medics revived him, he started screaming hysterically, ‘Give me back my balls!’”
Eduard’s genitals were so traumatized that doctors had to amputate the entire scrotum to prevent gangrene. In the hospital, the burglar filed a complaint against his victim. He said, “I will never forgive him!”
As the 2007 winner, did he get a trophy?
Why "Thank God," for pete's sake? It would have been of benefit to the rest of society if it had been the 8th floor.
And as for "putting the testicle into cold water," etc.: That defies comprehension!
Regards,