This special snowflake should never, ever go watch a PG-13 rated movie, much less anything R-rated. The experience would traumatize her to the point where she would have to drop out of college.
I also hope she never sees graffiti. Some of it conveys quite violent messages.
I also hope she never accidentally wanders over to the wrong side of town. Some of the people she might view there are really scary people, covered with tattoos and piercings and generally taking on aggressive appearances.
In fact, I think the best thing for this little precious snowflake is to go back home to mommy and daddy and lock herself in the basement, without any TV, internet, radio, or any other means of interacting with the real world. If her parents don’t have a basement, she can pin cardboard over her bedroom windows. That world out there is an intensely scary place!
Drat, I looked at the article again and saw that the special snowflake is a professor.
Goodness, she better quit her job posthaste and run back home to mommy and daddy’s basement! Otherwise, she might actually encounter students, some of whom can be really scary.