Posted on 05/25/2016 12:20:02 AM PDT by proud American in Canada
May God ease your pain and sense of loss and guide you to the joy of being special to someone else. Your Father cavorts in Heaven in a new and perfect body that will never tire or wear out. It sounds like he has earned it.
God Bless.
My condolences.
In time, I have been able to think of my father and mother with a smile and a grin, and not so much with pain and sorrow. I remember all the things I loved about them, the things I found hilarious, the gratitude for raising me in the best way they knew how.
It is the cycle of life, and there is always that feeling that you are on your own in an odd way, that they aren’t there to have your back as they always had (if you are lucky, and it sounds like you were)
Rarely a day goes by where I don’t think of them (see my freep page) and my father has been gone 16 years, my mom 10. But it rarely is painful now, I usually have an unconscious smile when I do it, and my wife will often say “What are you smiling about?”
And I say “Oh, I was just thinking about how my dad would sit at the kitchen table, cigarette in one hand, coffee mug in the other...”
So sorry for your lose.
It is very hard to deal with the reality that your best friend and mentor, is not at your fingertips.(the phone)
I still have my Dad’s phone number in my phone and he has been gone it will be 8 years in August. Instead of phoning, I just talk out loud to him when I’m alone. Especially when I’m troubled with decision making, or it’s a holiday that we would have enjoyed together.
Won’t lie to you, the pain never goes away....it lessens and you will adjust because he is with you in everything you do and say.
God Bless you and your family during this time.
I came across this question years ago & have reflected on it in my many losses.
A question: A Voice said, Look me in the stars and tell me truly men of earth, if all the soul and body scars were not too much to pay for birth?
Remember the good times.
Isaiah 57:1-2 The righteous man perishes, and no man takes it to heart; And devout men are taken away, while no one understands. For the righteous man is taken away from evil, He enters into peace; They rest in their beds, Each one who walked in his upright way.
For those who pass on it, is a time of peace from the evils this life has to offer. God tells us it is enough, to cease from our labors and wants us to come home to His rest. But that is very difficult for us remaining to understand.
Whenever I think of my dad or my wife and get all sad and emotional, I just remember that its because I had good times with them and made great memories.
If I had never made those great memories I wouldn’t be sad about their absence.
It’s a mixed bag and you take it as it comes.
In the case of my wife I remember that she is with the Lord and He has taken her pain and given her a perfect body, free of pain and decay, to spend eternity with Him.
And that she now understands His plan and how she fit into it.
One other thing.
When it seems like you can’t take the sense of loss anymore and those around you can’t seem to help, that is the moment Jesus is waiting for.
He is waiting for us to admit our frailty and ask Him to bear the burden for us.
Sorry for your loss. I’ve lost both my parents within the last few years. It has been painfull to go through. I lost the two people closest to me in this life.
God loved my mother and father. He gave his only begotten son for them and for all of us. They’re in a much better place.
” ..... absent from the body, ..... present with the Lord.”
I used to talk frequently with my father, even though he was gone. Even then, he gave great advice.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Prayers..
You never get over it, you just learn to live with the new normal. There is no “correct” way to go through the grieving process. There is YOUR way to go through it and, whatever that is, is right for you and no one else’s concern.
Like yours, my Dad was my rock. I lost my wife to cancer in 2004 when she was 35. At the time, my 2 sons were 8 and 9 and, I freely admit, being a typical male I struggled with some of the little things I had to do to raise them myself. I had to learn to cook well, etc.
All along the way, Dad was there, calling and encouraging. I can still clearly hear his voice saying “You can do this and do it well.”, and “you’re doing great! The boys are fine and growing up well!”
We lost him in 2010. His influence on me, and my boys, is immeasurable. 6 years later I still miss him terribly.
Always wonder what an honest defense attorney does when they get a client they know is guilty.........
I would think an ethical one would have to say, “Sorry - I cannot defend you with a clear conscience - you’ll have to find someone else....”
Or would they say, “If I defend you, you need to confess your guilt and plead guilty.”
I think neither is likely with most DA’s.........
My father passed away at home from lung cancer. He knew he was dying and was grateful that he was allowed to put his affairs in order, take care of my mother, and die at home instead of “all alone in a jungle or battlefield”.
We talked about it and he was satisfied with how things shook out. He saw his grandkids hug and kiss him, he saw my sister and I get married and I truly think he had nothing but thanks for the life he was granted.
I coped with his loss by holding my wife and crying for a couple of minutes when he was diagnosed and then just took his example. I lived my life and loved my family.
We all cope in our own way. I initially worked about 21 night shifts in a row in order to numb the pain. That bone aching exhaustion is great for grief. Then one day is a little better. You never forget and I truly believe that my father lives on in me. My sense of humor, work ethic, sarcasm, choice of recreation, love of my kids/wife and on and on... He lives on in you also.
That’s what I’ve told my kids and I truly hope it helps mine when I pass.
Because he raised you to be a strong, independent, believer, you will go on with your life, always missing him, and cherishing your memories, knowing, he waits for you. There will be tears and sad times but laughter too.
I lost my daddy 28 years ago and still miss him. It is the way of life.
I can, and thank you for your efforts.
Remember, “You’ll never get over this, but you will learn to live with it.” I know from experience.
Fins to the left.
It seems most of us face losing our parents in our 50’s.
- Like everything else; after a while you just simply get
up & get moving, carrying on with life, doing what needs to
be done, doing productive things. - I’ve learned a lot more
about my parents since their deaths. - Rest. Grieve. Then
get moving again, enjoy life. Be thankful for what you have.
This is profound. Losing my folks - my Dad when I was only 20 - was devastating. One way that I dealt with it was by realizing that I had to pass on what they *were*, and do my best to live their great qualities for other people.
That way, they are always with you, always honored, and never ‘gone’.
-JT
I didn’t get along well with my dad. We disagreed on things but he was still my dad. He died of a sudden heart attack and the shock was major for me and my mother. For many years I did my best to take care of my mother who got the double whammy of cancer and alzheimers. She passed away from cancer. I miss them both but know in each case their time here on earth had come to an end as it will for all of us. Eventually we find the only remaining rock in our lives is God when the rains fall and the wind blows.
Lost my dad three years ago, I talk to him often, I love and respect him more now than ever, sure would like to see him again, a baseball game would be perfect, just sit watch the game and chat.
Celebrate his life. ..you were very blessed...I really never had a father even tho my mom was married multiple times.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.