Posted on 03/25/2016 4:05:07 PM PDT by JoeProBono
NEW YORK, - The National Rifle Association has rewritten a pair of classic children's stories for its NRA Family website to include guns.
The stories, which include "Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun)" and the more recent "Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns)", were written by blogger and children's author Amelia Hamilton.
An editor's note on the first installment in the series explains the premise, pointing out the grim and potentially unsettling nature of children's stories and questioning how the situations would be altered by a knowledge of firearms.
"Have you ever wondered what those same fairy tales might sound like if the hapless Red Riding Hoods, Hansels and Gretels had been taught about gun safety and how to use firearms?" the note asks.
Both alternate tellings of the well-known stories feature their young protagonists being taught about gun safety and entrusted with their own firearms at a young age. Little Red Riding Hood sets off to her grandmother's house with a rifle over her shoulder, and Gretel skillfully takes down a 10-point buck with a single shot.
The presence of firearms allows Hamilton's protagonists to avoid some of the troubles faced by their traditional counterparts, but outside of Hansel and Gretel's hunting trip they never actually fire their weapons.
One passage sees Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother avoid the jaws of the Big Bad Wolf by simply aiming her shotgun at him.
"Those big eyes looked down and saw that grandma had a scattergun aimed right at him," Hamilton wrote. "He realized that Grandmother hadn't been backing away from him; she had been moving towards her shotgun to protect herself and her home."
Both stories conclude with some kind of authority figure removing the antagonist as the protagonists use their guns to subdue the threat.
Red Riding Hood would have been a lot safer if she’d been carrying.
Does Pinocchio get anything?
Does Cinderella pack heat to the Ball?
"When the little girl opened the door of her grandmother's house she saw that there was somebody in bed with a nightcap and nightgown on. She had approached no nearer than twenty-five feet from the bed when she saw that it was not her grandmother but the wolf, for even in a nightcap a wolf does not look any more like your grandmother than the Metro-Goldwyn lion looks like Calvin Coolidge. So the little girl took an automatic out of her basket and shot the wolf dead."--From Fables for Our Time by James Thurber, New York 1940.
***rewrites classic fairytales***
Nothing new. Playboy magazine did it for years, and cartoonists have constantly rewritten the tales. Remember “Fractured Fairy Tails”?
Awesome
This is brilliant on the part of the NRA.
Going to make for some very short stories.
Little pig, little pig let me...!!!Booomm!!! The End.
Made me chuckle.
Then the Mental images started.
:)
YES! Good Girl!
There is something about the sight of a Lady carrying Firepower.
bfl
Nice, but I think I’d prefer Belle with a FN-FAL
Is there a source for the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons on the net. They were great, generally.
The difference is Thurber was a good writer. Amelia Hamilton is not
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