Great. Another pirate joke thread!
oh that’s bad.....rofl...........
Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?
They’ll just wash up on shore later
A sunken chest with no booty.
Avast! Your killing me.
“I’d only had the hook three days.”
How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.
How about an old sea joke from Mark Twain.
A ship at sea is caught in a horrible storm and taking on water. The crew cries to the captain, “PRAY FOR US,CAPTAIN!”
Captain: “I AIN’T BEEN IN A CHURCH IN FORTY YEARS! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PRAY!”
Crew: “ WELL DO SOMETHING RELIGIOUS!”
So he took up a collection.
A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says “You know you have a steering wheel down the front of your pants”
Pirate say “ARRRRRRRR...and it’s driving me nuts”
USE PIRATE VOICE
bump
I can’t tell you. this is a family friendly forum and my best pirate joke is rated Arrrr!
And to think, it was actor ROBERT NEWTON who got everyone to talk like they think a pirate talks.
Now, what if Walter Brennan had us all talking like a pirate as he did in THE PRINCESS AND THE PIRATE, we would all be going around cackling like hens.
We were outside. My partner sees a 4 year old boy with a patch on one eye.
He growls at the kid and says..."Are you a pirate?".
The kid says....No, I jumped off the car and landed in the bushes and poked my eye".
Made our day...
Well, since FR is a political forum...I’ll bring politics into this...
Rrrrrr....
As me Pirates lost last night in LA, and things aren’t looking too good right now for the playoffs...I find this thread to be a microaggression, a dog whistle, and a trigger.
I might have to be lawyering up!!!
Rrrrrr...
(And that is ALL sarcasm, #LetsGoBucs!)
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”
“What do you mean?” the pirate replies, “I be fine.”
The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
“Well,” says the pirate, “I was in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg but the surgeon done fixed me up, and I’m fine, really.”
“Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands.”
“Well,” says the pirate, “We be in another battle and boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off. But the surgeon fixed me right up with this hook, and I be feelin’ great, really.”
“Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes.”
“Ah, yes,” says the pirate, “Well one day when we were at sea, some gulls were flying over me ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in me eye.”
“So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird crap!”
“Well,” says the pirate, “You see I really wasn’t used to me hook yet.”
What has 4 eyes 4 arms and 4 legs?
4 pirates!