http://www.duckdynastytv.com/john-godwin-cast-bio/
Just LOL, remembering his panther impression for Phil.
Posted on 03/13/2015 7:29:02 AM PDT by BenLurkin
That’s a spinning class....done Okie style
http://www.duckdynastytv.com/john-godwin-cast-bio/
Just LOL, remembering his panther impression for Phil.
HOOT HOOT HOOT HOOT
A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural South Carolina . Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force.
By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm. The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man’s tractor. “Hank,” the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath, “Did you see this terrible accident happen?”
“Yep. Sure did,” the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor’s engine. “Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States ?”
“Yep.”
“Were there any survivors?”
“Nope. They’s all kilt straight out,” the farmer answered. “I done buried them all myself.
Took me most of the morning.”
“President Obama is dead?” the sheriff asked.
“Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor, “He kept a-saying he wasn’t... But you know how bad that sumbitch lies.”
I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night.
They were called “Bomb Jovi”. They were brilliant.
Their last song, “Living on a Prayer Mat,” almost brought the house down.
Then this Muslim guy started bragging about how he had the entire Koran on DVD. I was interested so I asked him, “Can you burn me a copy?”
And that’s when the trouble started!
h/t Ralph
I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"
Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!"
She's smart, so I asked her "What does Presidents Day mean?"
I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush or Clinton, etc.
She replied, "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bull Shit."
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
h/t June
Parallels of Abraham Lincoln and Barack Hussein Obama
1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used the very same bible Lincoln used for his inauguration.
2. Lincoln came from Illinois. Obama comes from Illinois.
3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the Illinois Legislature.
4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had very little experience before becoming President.
5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration.
6. Lincoln was highly respected by some, but intensely disliked by others. Obama is highly respected by some, but intensely disliked by others.
7. Abraham Lincoln was a tall, skinny lawyer. Barack Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.
8. Lincoln held to basic Conservative and Christian views. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.
9. Lincoln volunteered in the Illinois militia, once as a captain, twice as a private. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.
10. Lincoln firmly believed in able persons carrying their own weight. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.
11. Lincoln was undeniably, and without any doubt, born in the United States. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.
12. Lincoln was honest - so honest that he was called 'Honest Abe'. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.
13. Lincoln preserved the United States as a strong nation, respected by the world. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.
14. Lincoln showed his obvious respect for the flag, U. S. Constitution, and the military. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.
Amazing isn't it!!
Obama isn't sleeping well one night when he sees a figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Obama pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"
Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."
"Gootness, its hotter den hell today", she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street.
She passed a tavern and thought to herself, "Vy nodt." She walked in, and quietly took a seat at the end of the bar. The bartender walked up to her and said, "And what would you like to drink today?"
"Ya know" Helga said in a timid voice, "I don't usually go into za bars, but today I vill make an exception. It is zo hot, I tink I vill have myself a beer".
The bartender smiled at Helga and asked, "Anheuser Busch?"
Helga blushed and said; "Vell it's fine tanks, und how's yur viener?"
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