[Excuse_My_Bellicosity]

Yeah, what a great time of year for the cops. Here's another gem:

Riverdale [NJ] Police found the 23-year-old Cedar Grove man
passed out in his car, drunk, in the parking lot of Target
on Route 23. Courtesy of Riverdale Police Department

[Does so]

If he was “under the influence”, passed out, immobile in a parking lot, what would he be charged with?