[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

So I was at the bank the other day. After she finished processing my deposit, the very attractive teller asked me, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Apparently, “take off your clothes” is not an appropriate answer to that question. Anybody know a good lawyer?

[Baynative]

A woman came to my door selling magazine subscriptions. She said if I bought five she'd take off half. I asked her how much she'd take off if I bought them all.

She said, "Everything but my bracelet"