Posted on 02/26/2014 4:54:54 AM PST by TruthShallSetYouFree
I just emailed my racquetball buddies to tell them that I wasn’t going to show up. I had barely hit SEND when the sun came out. Roads are still crappy, though. I live in a town that is about 1000 feet up. When it rains all around us, it snows here.
http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2014/02/25/former-police-chief-harper-to-be-sentenced/
Speaking of cops, former Pittsburgh chief sentenced to 18 months for diverting public funds and forgetting to file any income taxes for 4 years.
And
http://triblive.com/news/allegheny/5653703-74/police-officers-commission#axzz2uRToovsr
These local cops cheated on their re-certification tests.
I have never sent, nor have I received, save the date cards for 5 weddings. I guess we’re not so important, nor are our friends, that we’d possibly have a conflict.
fodder for the cop haters. i did see that about the Pgh chief of police.
it was not done back in the day when i got married 29 years ago. it is current practice though.
I’ve witnessed a lot of that abusive behavior. My late parents were married for 50 years and pretty much couldn’t stand each other for 45 of them. Divorce was more stigmatized in those days, but it would have been the wiser option. The eye-rolling, sarcasm, accusations, innuendos, and downright nastiness was always difficult to behold. I have two brothers and all three of us have been happily married for many decades. My youngest brother says that he just recalls what our parents did and does the opposite. Works well.
xsteen has seen this behavior in a few friends relationships and is horrified by it. they will likely marry, and it does not bode well for them if they are doing it from now.
One can rise above the poor template if one realizes that doing the opposite (of bad behavior) will lead to the opposite (of an unhappy marriage.) Unfortunately, many people who are imprinted with the bad vibes merely continue the tradition, with similar results.
it takes being self-aware and cognizant of one’s own behavior. i sent that article to my daughters and said that it is good advice, and that we should keep in mind, even within our family, that teasing is ok, but that that can go over the line and become demeaning or belittling. We joke around a lot and tease each other as a family, and i think that is good, but one has to be aware of the boundaries and avoid going too far.
There is definitely a line between good-natured teasing and bad-natured bullying. As I mentioned, I have two brothers. I am the oldest, and then there is a gap of three years, followed by a gap of seven years, which makes my youngest brother 10 years my junior. The little guy was quite chubby as a child, and his older brothers would tease him quite a bit. He never minded when I did it, but he would get incensed when the middle brother did. One time my dad asked him why he didn’t mind my teasing but hated when the other brother teased him. His reply: “Because he MEANS it!” Intelligent words from a four year-old.
They pulled the ol’ switcheroo on them. I always love cheaters who are so far off that they don’t notice that none of the answers line up with the questions.
Oh my, I could have written that article! I recently reconnected with a couple I knew many years ago. He had been a successful man in his field and I just adored him for his calm leadership. About 10 years ago he lost his position and they decided he would stay home and she would support them. I was stunned by how she demeaned him all through our conversation! She would never had allowed any man to talk about her that way, yet she was openly “teasing” about his hobbies costing so much and being so silly or about not knowing what he did with all his free time all day. I watched his face and knew she did this all the time to probably everyone they knew. It made me sad to see this once proud, accomplished man being humiliated and accepting it like it was normal. Of course I could add that they are both flaming liberals, so maybe that is acceptable in their circles.
that must be horrible. very sad for him.
Isn’t it sad when you learn people you should be able to trust are just criminals?
I think it is a fairly new thing to do - our daughter did it, as did all of her college friends
Oh that is so sad - my parents were madly in love and it showed. I never once heard them argue about anything
i desperately wanted to think we were doing it because we were so important, LOLOL!!
It really changed the way I view him though - he is like a small child waiting for a hint of support or love from his Mommy....
my parents were about the norm, i think. they argued plenty, but they loved each other very much. xsbro and xsSIL are bickerers of the first order, bless their hearts. but they do love each other. personally i can’t stand the bickering, and my kids are floored by it, bc they don’t hear it at home. as i have said repeatedly, my bro is a huge PITA, and can work your last nerve. I learned early on how to deal with that and defuse it. my SIL either has never cared to learn, or just can’t help herself, bc they can go to TOWN with it.
from my recent experience of talking to friends in troubled marriages, i think that sitting still for that behavior guarantees that it will continue ad infinitum. objectively speaking, it seems there needs to be something to break the pattern, the “abused” spouse needs to do something somewhat dramatic to call attention to it. my friend has said that her husband has been on better behavior lately bc of ways she is reacting. her therapist has said that it indicates that he is nervous [i would spell that nervou$$$]. her response is too little too late. she sat for the abuse for a long long time, unwittingly even, though in retrospect it is very obvious.
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