[Jeff Chandler]

In the near future:

1. Pedophile History Month
   .
2. Affirmative Action for pedophiles in hiring, college admissions, and government contracts
   .
3. College degrees in Pedophile Studies
   .
4. Adult/Child Marriage

[Mrs. Don-o]

Exactly. Plus

5. Gerontophilia --- next up --- a child's "right" to express himself sexually with an older "partner"

Because after all, this will sell better if it's framed, packeaged, and marketed as "children's rights" rather than "old perverts' preferences"