Ah, another weakling like me..I had that problem with most handguns, until I tried a Walther PPS. I love it. BTW, I also have that problem with pump shotguns, so I prefer a Saiga..easy peasy.
You might want to try the old WWII lugar. It is a 9mm that is easy to operate the action.
I have small bones, my wrists are small and getting older just made it worse. I can't handle a 10 inch iron skillet. My wrists give way under that amount of weight.
I wear a AAA shoe. When I was younger, it was AAAA. Can you say narrow feet? My mother hated that since if the shoe was going to stay on, she had to pay more to get that AAAA. Only the most expensive store had them. I get shoe catalogs and can flip through them fast since they seem to think everyone wears a medium or wide.
It was frustrating not being able to pull back a slide. I could envision the bad guy standing there waiting until I was ready to fire. The clerk immediately dumped those pistols and went to revolvers. He suggested the Ruger 38 special and it was fine in my hand, then I questioned the amount of strength needed to pull the trigger. He went to the safe and got one out that didn't have a lock on it and held it behind his back until he got to me and had me hold it down so no one could see while I pulled the trigger. I pulled it and it was fine.
A clerk is supposed to only give a buyer one with a lock on the trigger to look at. I don't know if that is just an Academy rule or is a rule everywhere.
I don't have a problem with the 22LR.
You need an 8-rd S&W revolver. Problem solved.
The slide on the Walther PK380 is extremely easy to operate. The grip fits most smaller hands, and you can also get it with a laser.
http://www.waltherarms.com/products/handguns/pk380/
Semi autos generally get easier the larger the caliber. My sister and mother have a tough time with my 9mm and 380s but both mom and sis can chamber my 45 1911 and XD 45.