Posted on 05/10/2013 8:09:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
A friend of mine went out to the garage, got his gas leaf blower and “assisted” his daughter’s room clean up.
Point made!
It’s been borrowed, for the next text to The Bride...
My Mom worried about me all my life. I remember visiting home on leave from the Navy at age 29 and going out on Saturday night. When I came in, quiet as a mouse, tip-toeing thru the house, not wanting to wake anybody......
Mom’s voice came from the bedroom, “Freddie? You home?”
I’m sure she’s still watching and worrying about me in heaven.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Phyllis Diller
When I was stationed on my last ship, they had a radio system and all the work center supervisors and above were issued radios. One day my Chief called me and asked where I was.
Now with officers monitoring I didn’t want to advertise that I was using the head, so I said that I was indisposed. Chief said, “Call me on the phone.”
When I called he asked, “What the hell does ‘indisposed’ mean?” I told him that I didn’t want to say I was taking a s*** on the radio.
A couple of days later, the division officer calls for the Chief on the radio and Chief replied, “I’m a little indisposed right now, sir.”
That's what these were invented for (in reality)
ROFLMAO!!!
IN! (Finally. It’s a melt-down day.)
First I have to say that I love these threads, and,
I LOVE the pole dancing picture. It had me in tears!
The Fence Test
You can’t get any more accurate than this!
This is straight forward country thinking.
by Jeff Foxworthy
Which side of the political fence are you on?
If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A Democrat demands that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.
(E-mail)
If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because they’re “offended”.
I worked with a bunch of rednecks on my last boat. Heard over the loudspeaker in Maneuvering (reactor control room) during drills with the brass from DC in attendence:
“Hey Mo, where’s the Carolina speed wrench?”
“Right here in my dickskinners, Chief.”
When Hubby was single and in his 30’s, he went home for Christmas. His brother (also single and in his 30’s) was also there. Mom decided she was going to do laundry. Hubby told her he would do his own laundry and not to bother with his. Hubby, Dad, and brother leave to run some errands. When they get back, Mom has done everyone’s laundry. With three grown men, all about the same size and all owning tidy-whities, she had a predicament; how to not mix up the underwear. She came up with a creative solution. When Hubby went to put his clothes away, he discovered she had written in large, block letters on the waistband of each pair of underwear his childhood nickname in black permanent marker.
Now, it’s a funny story. At the time, Hubby was less than amused.
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