[Girlene]

MAN OF THE HOUSE

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, You Can Be the Man of Your House.

He stormed over to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and...well... you get the point.

“Later, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.... Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

Without even looking up from her morning paper the wife replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.”

[Secret Agent Man]

Yeah...;)

[Revolting cat!]

And then there was this feller who claimed to have invented rock and roll, composed "Rock Around the Clock", and named the Beatles, among a score of other great achievements, and his name was... Joey Welz!

[Joe 6-pack]

On their wedding night, a young couple arrive at their hotel suite and begin prepping for their first night together as husband and wife. The man slides off his trousers and says, "Sweety, I want you to try these on." She quizzically looks at him, then pulls on the trousers. As she's holding them up, he tells her to let go of the waist. She says, "I can't, they won't stay up."

The man smugly looks at her, and says, "And you remember that. I'm the one who wears the pants in this family."

She shuffles off to the bathroom, emerges in a bath robe, and hands the groom her panties, saying, "I wan't you to try these one." The man looks at the panties, looks at his wife and says, "You have to be kidding me...there's no way I'm getting into those things." She replies, "You're right about that, and you're not going to until you change your attitude."

Many years later, after decades of marriage, the man decides to do something to put a little spice back in their relationship. One Valentine's Day, he goes to Victoria's Secret over his lunch hour and buys the sheerest, most expensive nightie he can find.

When he arrives home, he gives his wife the gift box which she gleefully opens and smiles. After dinner as the man is watching the evening news, the wife sneaks off to the bedroom and slips into her new nighty. Posing provacatively on the stairs, she whistles at her husband who turns, sees her and his jaw drops. "Whaddya think?" she asks.

"I think for as much as I paid for that, they would have at least ironed it!"