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If I were the cops - I woulda asked about the cole slaw, ala M*A*S*H ...

*****

Master Sgt. Tarola: What's in the package?

Hawkeye: Ribs and sauce from Chicago.

Master Sgt. Tarola: Adam's Ribs?

Hawkeye: You know it?

Master Sgt. Tarola: Are you kidding? I'm from Joliet. I'd walk all the way on my knees for a takeout order.

Trapper: He's one of you.

Master Sgt. Tarola: How much?

Hawkeye: 40 pounds.

Master Sgt. Tarola: I want 20 pounds and a quart of sauce.

Hawkeye: 10 pounds and a pint of sauce.

Master Sgt. Tarola: 12 pounds. And some cole slaw.

Hawkeye: We didn't order any cole slaw.

Master Sgt. Tarola: You sent all the way to Chicago and you didn't order any cole slaw?

Hawkeye: Forgive us, we're draftees.

1 posted on 12/20/2011 12:15:47 AM PST by Lmo56
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To: Lmo56

Storing food in your pants and give that food a sharp ouffputting “TWANG”...
Best to not tell your neighbors you’ve put your sausage in your shorts..


2 posted on 12/20/2011 12:21:39 AM PST by hosepipe (This propaganda has been edited to include some fully orbed hyperbole...)
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To: Lmo56

Was his name Sandy Berger?


3 posted on 12/20/2011 12:24:51 AM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: Lmo56

“Coming from his fly were eight bags of shrimp, eight rib-eye steaks, a package of smoked turkey and an undisclosed number of baby back ribs.”

There is a filthy joke in there somewhere......Honey, is that baby back ribs in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?


4 posted on 12/20/2011 12:26:52 AM PST by Explorer89 (And now, let the wild rumpus start!!)
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To: Lmo56
Perp - " Yes, indeed officer, there IS a party in my pants...."
5 posted on 12/20/2011 12:48:14 AM PST by BossLady (Where There's A Shill...There's A Pay.......)
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To: Lmo56

My girlfriend’s security company (she’s third-in command under the two founders and a VP) has the loss prevention contract for many Food Lions in North Carolina. The stories they could tell you......this is nothing. :)


6 posted on 12/20/2011 2:06:04 AM PST by RightOnline
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To: Lmo56

“Is that Shrimp, rib-eye steak, baby back ribs and smoked turkey in your pants, or are you jus happy to see me?”


10 posted on 12/20/2011 6:09:44 AM PST by GreenHornet
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To: Lmo56; mikrofon; martin_fierro
Ronald Broadway, 45, was arrested Thursday night in the parking lot of his local Food Lion supermarket, packed with enough meats and fish intended for a birthday and holiday celebration, police said.

They say the neon lights are bright
On Broadway
They say there's always magic in the air
On Broadway
But when you're walking down the street
And you ain't had enough to eat
The glitter rubs right off, and you're nowhere
On Broadway

11 posted on 12/20/2011 6:40:29 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Broadway musical.)
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To: Lmo56
Were the local P.D. already hanging out in the parking lot looking for other bad guys? If so, that would make it a Salisbury-stakeout.

CC

12 posted on 12/20/2011 7:11:36 AM PST by Celtic Conservative (Wisdom comes from experience. Experience comes from a lack of wisdom.)
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To: Lmo56; mikrofon; Charles Henrickson
Police: Man Celebrated 45th Birthday With $283 Worth Of Food Stuffed In Pants

Ronald Broadway, 45, was arrested Thursday night in the parking lot of his local Food Lion Loin supermarket

13 posted on 12/20/2011 10:57:11 AM PST by martin_fierro (There. Fixed.)
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