I have an uncle who continues to spend more than he takes in. I promised him I would give him roughly 30% of everything I earn in order to help him make ends meet. He's lately been talking about hitting me up for a larger percentage of what I earn. If I miss a payment to him, he threatens me and my family. I'm especially worried since he seems to be borrowing more and more in order to make payments on his old loans. It's to the the point that he even said my kids and grand-kids are going to have to pitch in. Should I keep paying him or should I stand up to him and tell him where he can go?
P.S. His name is Sam
Just Sam or Son of Sam?
If it’s just Sam, give him the honest truth. If it’s otherwise, do it in a phonecall, from Australia.
Very creative, optiguy!! Also, lots of truth there.
I’ll do my best to speak on Dave’s behalf. I think I can accurately predict what he would say, but remember that I am not him....
;-)
That said, I think he would tell you to stop being an enabler. If your uncle was a crackhead, would you give him money for crack? would you buy a drunk a drink? You need to shift your thinking to realize that his way of handling his finances is the same as any other life destroying activity. Stop enabling him.
Now, what you could do is convince him to read “The Total Money Makeover.” Offer to pay him $100 to read it and give you a verbal book report on it. Then offer to match his debt payment, for example for every $1 in debt pay off he completes, you could match it with a $1 or $0.50 or whatever you are comfortable with.
This will allow for you to help him and teach him how to stop destroying his life. Quite often in these scenarios, he recommends that the caller read “Boundaries,” by Dr. Henry Cloud. I have read that and I think you would find it very valuable.
Good luck in handling this very difficult situation.
hahahaha! You fooled me! Good one. The problem is that it is a common personal finance problem, so I fell hook, line and sinker. I’ve posted the following before, but will take this opportunity to post it again.
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A couple of months ago, my hero, Dave Ramsey laid out the financial conversion of the federal budget to how it would look for the average family. My numbers may be off a bit as I am doing it from memory, but the scope is there.
Average Family, if they spent like the feds:
Annual Income: $50,000
Annual Spending: $90,000 - 180% of annual income
Existing CC bill: $330,000
Now, if this same family wanted to increase their income (raise revenues) and they patterned that after the same numbers that the dems are discussing for “taxing the rich” it would equal that family getting a second job that earns an extra income of $80 per year……yes, that is eighty dollars, I did not leave of a K or anything….
But don’t worry about it, this family doesn’t have a spending problem either.