Posted on 08/06/2011 1:10:35 PM PDT by knarf
I received this today and was told it has been around a while and that a college student wrote it.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!
WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for The sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion.. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you
can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell..
You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs and rednecks.
--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.
--We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you
can find.
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach The World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
--We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative
patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's keep this going, Maybe some of it Will Start Sinking In.
I think George Carlin wrote this.
/s
The desk at the bank where people fill out their deposit slips ... f'rinstance
I'll go look at snopes .. or something
My source was from a group of vets.
It is great!
Should be tagged at the end ...
Would you agree to this?
If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
I apologise, John .. I didn't know.
As said in West Side Story .. "Y'dun good, buddy-boy"
Seems this is from around the end of 2009 and a bunch of libs responded to it ... and boy, are they ever lame.
this is a keeper
Yeah ... pass it aeound.
will do
Never work. We couldn’t afford the child support.
There's his first mistake. The Left will never agree to anything less than a complete takeover. They know we will take the best with us. They may get half the country, but in about 2 years time, they will be as broke as a third-world country and will want us to help them out. That's when we tell them to go ask their beloved U.N.
Totally wrong about one thing: It won’t take 15 years for them to ask for help. I’d give them 5, at the outside. It’ll probably be far less than that1
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